Want Love? Don’t date  This is the title of a not so recent post on The Good Men Project. It resonated with me because it provided some insight to my own thoughts. At times I find myself over thinking the dating game but one thing is certain, it is a game.

Truth is I don’t want to play.

♫ Talkin 'bout you and me, yeah and the games people play… I had a come to Jesus moment during recent discussions with girls that are friends. I’ve been trying to sort out my thoughts surrounding dating and I’ve felt blocked trying to effectively communicate my point of view. The more I concentrate, the more energy I exert the more it eluded me & then …

Truth is I’ve never had to “put in work” with women.

♫ I’m clocking in on time, girl all we do is grind, I came to put in work … Well not exactly, all of my romantic relationships started as something else and we developed friendships before things turned romantic. That’s not ego that’s just me talking … trying to make a point, which is the message in the Good Men Project post; doing the things that you love and sharing that time with friends.  It is this experience that allows things to happen organically.

Truth is I believe in romance.

♫ The most beautifulest thing in this world is just like that, I get in you … I believe in treating my woman like the most important person in my life. However this should be reserved for when I Am in an actual relationship. The game as I understand it requires me to “put in work” to be creative pursuing a woman for her time, attention and affection.

Truth is maybe I’m cheap smart with money.

♫ I got show money baby, I wanna show you how I blow money baby, I wanna show you how I throw money baby … I ran a few ideas by friends that are girls for first, second, and third dates, however the significance of their response was not whether they agreed or disagreed but collectively it led to one common theme “Man, women just want to get dressed up and be surprised.” Well get dressed up and surprise, meet me at Starbucks for tea. Lets talk and get to know each other before either of us invest our time and I spend money. I’m not a willing participant in the “free lunch program.” The free lunch program to put it simply is the acceptance of complimentary dinner dates from someone you have no interest in dating with the purpose of saving a few pennies and getting out the house. Theory by Lewis Williams III of iHustleNation, description by Goddess Intellect.

Truth is the “work” should be put in while you are in a relationship.

♫ I can't wait to get home to you, I got so much work to do, work … The experience, not game playing should be about exploring levels of intimacy; safe communication, others’ opinions and beliefs, personal opinions and beliefs, feelings and experiencing needs, emotions and desires.

That works for me.

I Am …