“… fuck you and your lame ass friends.”

This is a line from a comment on Fair Trade. I couldn’t care less about the comment, but it made me think a lot about friendship and what it means to be a friend. 'Friend' has been bastardized so much that when someone uses it, we aren’t sure if the person means something or they’re just some random nigga they have an eConnection with.

My friends are my friends, and this means something to me

My friends are dope. They are successful entrepreneurs, corporate leaders, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, sons, and daughters. They are extremely intelligent, funny, empathetic, generous, and loving. I couldn’t care less how someone feels about me, only keep my friends out of your mouf’. 

How a person responds to your good times and bad times tells you a lot about your relationship. I love that my friends don’t silence me. I don’t have to pretend to be happy if I’m down or upset. If a friend feels you are depressed because you are hurting, thank them for their time and move on to an adult who understands what it means to be a friend.

Everyone does not have the skill set necessary to be a friend

When I discuss a challenge with someone, I want a person who will listen, empathize and if asked, think of problem-solving ideas with me. I don’t want immediate advice. I don’t want to be reproved for not being a hunid' 100% of the time. I do not want to be told to “just pray about it.” And I do not want to listen to someone who is supposed to care about me take someone else’s side. We ride together, we die together. If you hate them, I hate them. If you love them, I love them.

I Am thankful for comments like those. They help shape how I respond when friends are faced with challenges.

Listen

Empathize

Problem-Solve

Take their side or no side. If in your mind the simplest problems are “always” the friend’s fault, maybe y’all ain’t friends. 

And that’s cool, but dead the friendship and stop masking yourself as someone who cares.

I Am