Someone asked me the other day if I were happy. In context I understand why. In a social media world of happiness theater, competition on happiness and not real happiness, but who could display it best online. I believe they genuinely wanted to know. Especially witnessing the changes in my life in real time over the past two years.

“Saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy”

Every single woman I know watches one or all of the law shows. While I am not a fan of them, in an effort to get some… I mean get along – I play along. The original Netflix and chill. There is an episode of Criminal Minds that involves a woman’s disappearance and while searching her home the detectives discover affirmations posted all around. On paper she gives the impression of being happy and well-adjusted, but poor grades, an eating disorder and being a victim of domestic violence shows otherwise. Emily, I assume y’all know who she is, states “saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy.”

At times we feel constrained to convince the world that we are happy when internally we are trapped in a glass case of emotion. I don’t police how others use social media, however I do see how its use influences others’ lives. I do not typically share images of family or close friends as I try to B’ in the moment when I am with them. Also, none of them use social media beyond the scope of what is necessary to them so I respect how they use it. My social media is simply me sharing my coffee, my socks, my food and look at me doing this thing - any random thought - As is. I do not feel compelled to engage in this theatre and live outside of myself. If I am having a great time with something I share that joy.

We out here frolicking.

It’s a lot of work to care about what others think of you. I believe I am not nice, some friends and family would confirm. However, I am caring and will do anything I can to help someone I care about. I’ll listen when you hurt, problem solve when you need help and cheer for you when you win. Also, I’ll spin the block if you lose. Do I smile from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat all the time?

Nah, I’m good.

I am human with uncountable emotions and I won’t suppress the bad ones, if I am not happy I acknowledge it and explore why. I try to approach happiness daily, some days I lose and other days I win out efficiently.

“Saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy”

B’ happy.