I did things kind of late in life but it seemed like the timeline was only in my head.

When I moved to Washington, D.C. to start grad school at 27, I looked at my cohort of 23 and 24 year olds and thought “ya’ll some babies!!” I had a whole career before going back for another degree but being on the cusp of 30 was making me feel like I had more life experience, more maturity and more to lose when it came to doing well in my program. Failure wasn't an option.

I graduated at 29 years old with my Masters Degree, eager to finally be self-sufficient, live on my own and experience D.C. as an adult! Time for boozy brunches, happy hours and touching shoulders with the who's who of the pseudo Chocolate City.

I made a list of what I wanted then:

To move to DC.

To marry a bearded Black man.

To have a job in a setting where I’m stretched and growing.

Well, I am closer to 40 than 30 now and l’m still living in the area. Finding fulfilling work in the right setting is still something I’m figuring out. I am not married. I got my bearded Black man and two babies. We bought a house, him at 34 and me at 36. Our life is kind of chaotic with 2 girls under 3 years old. I am gainfully employed full time which basically means I have two full time jobs. As I type this in bed after 12 am during my “revenge me time” I never thought I’d be here… with two young kids in my mid thirties.

Adulting is relentless. It cannot be overstated- being a working mom is tough. Working moms do not equal working dads. (Don't @ me)

I salute all of the single women AND men raising young kids alone because that is a new unlocked level of life.

If Tracey from 8 years ago knew the stuff I’d go through to get to Tracey of today, I’m not sure I’d accept the challenge.

At 37 years young:

I believe in the law of attraction.

I accept that this is just a season of life and soon enough, there will be new routines and schedules to adjust to.

I am still a woman, with her own wishes and dreams.

I love my children, especially the baby that wasn't here to stay.

I ache for the freedom I no longer have AND I love all the joy and laughs my girls bring.

I am an ever-evolving human.

I'm a mom who doesn't know it all.

At 47 years old, I pray my girls are in community and thriving. I know we will be going back and forth between our house and our vacation home. Our money will be working for us. And I will have the freedom of TIME and privilege of PEACE.

And it is so.