Messenger of Love, Being In Love With the Idea Of…, and Masculinity

Of Messenger of Love 

I’ve always been fascinated with people valuing the messenger over the message. Back in ’08 when I started blogging and trying to figure out my writing style, I would step up on my soapbox telling anyone who would listen (and some that would not) that people are in love with the idea of love. Fast forward and today there are multiple ‘influencers’ floating around the idea that people fall in love with an idea of a person. 

Science

In ’08 social media wasn’t far-reaching on Beyonces’ innanet, now with The Tikker Tokker, The Instagram, and The X along with the invention of ‘influencing’ we are all encouraged by “stories”… 140 Characters, soundbites, 15-second clips, and memes. I have always been and still believe, fuck a quote tell me what you know. I do not follow celebrities or influencers, this is no disrespect to them, as I Am following all of you, with normal lives, and real (to me) lifestyles. I don’t have to search for anything outside of what you share on your feed(s).  

That’s enough for me. You are enough for me. 

Slips off soapbox

Of Being In Love With the Idea Of…

About the idea of being in love with the idea of (insert love/a person) I believe this deep down in my hindquarters. I know reglass’ people who by their lives are influential. Their social media feeds are filled with panem et circenses. A lifestyle: food, entertainment, and travel— Basic needs and desires required to keep a person happy. Instinctively this attracts people to them, those people transcribe that person's experience into a mockup idea of who they are. These reglass’ people are absolutely unique, just like everyone else, however, what you see is not the full idea. It is doubly dynamic, I Am using to me language and speaking about the people I know personally (1) they are genuine and live the lifestyle that is presented (2) it is not the sum of who they are.

Of Masculinity 

On The Tikker Tokker there is a trend where a man stitches with a video of a woman insinuating that something a man does is sassy, and then adding it to a list of “Things Men Can’t Do” I’ve always found these to be funny without putting much thought into it. Currently, there is a clip circulating of a woman calling a man sassy because he drank’ a blueberry margarita, works in insurance, and drives a reglass (in her mind) V8 Dodge Charger.

I think about the micro-aggressions I’ve experienced involving masculinity. One very subtle example happened during Covid. I was in the talking phase with a woman and one day she calls for some sweet, late-afternoon chit-chat. She heard a voice in the background and asked who it was’ and when I told her it was the maintenance man fixing a toilet paper holder she pouts and asks querulously “You couldn’t have fixed it yourself? Do you call someone every time? What would you do if it were your house?” In retrospect, I recognize this as passive-agress-her behavior and added “can’t call for help” to the list Things Men Can’t Do and to my Notebook of Things I Don’t Give a Fuck About.

I regularly get manicures, pedicures, and facials. These are typically where I receive the most micro-aggressions, however, I Am very secure in my masculinity. I stand on it —in fact for most of the women with something to say I’ve stood up in… never mind.

I find it curious that the thing that attracts is often the same thing that detracts. I understand that there are multiple ways of being masculine. There is no such thing as a single, fixed indispensable masculinity. Outdated ideas of masculinity are a noxious weed. My presence on social media gives people a window into my lifestyle, however, it is not the sum of who I Am. Stop romanticizing and idealizing a perception of a person, it is not a realistic summation of who they are only what you’ve created them to be.

Is writing sassy? Don’t answer, I’m going to stare into my notebook of Things I Don’t Give a Fuck About until the answer comes to me. Maybe I should start typing in 2024? Also rhetorical.

I Remain