My last few posts have been about dating, relationships, and the emotional polemics of love. I’m off that. I had to put it out into the ether, and now I’m back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Random Observation #8,987,675

Chaos

I’ve written about this before; peace, silence, introspection, and reflection are things many people neither enjoy nor are encouraged to enjoy. These qualities are rarely marketed as virtues in today’s world. Recently, I’ve noticed an increasing prevalence of situational, entertainment, and relationship chaos.

Chaotic people revel in chaos. They feel comfortable in it. They don’t seek peace in solitude because they thrive in actual chaos—not just in the company of others, but in genuine disorder.

People hide behind avatars and cyber masks, hurling vile insults online, creating cyber chaos. Shows built on mayhem and disorder dominate ratings. Reality TV isn’t even real, yet people indulge in it to immerse themselves in chaos that outpaces their own lives, just to feel that their personal chaos is manageable rather than working to make their real lives more peaceful.

The truth is, that a chaotic world is created by chaotic people.

My calm energy appears to attract the opposite. No matter where I am; the gym, a museum, standing in line, or even a cozy, less-than-bustling coffee shop—it’s always the same story.

Take one of my favorite coffee shops, for instance. On a random morning, you might find me watching the sun beat in through the windows, creating dramatic light and shadow throughout the shop. The aroma of coffee and chocolate in the air, and music playing softly. The shop might be nearly empty, with tables and chairs spread.

Perfect.

Then, without fail, it happens. A loud group; office workers on break, parents with unruly kids, or teens with their music leaking from earbuds—ignores the abundance of free space and parks themselves right next to me. It’s as if my corner of calm is marked “disturb here.” This pattern isn’t unique to coffee shops. An empty airport terminal? They’ll sit at the next gate over. A quiet bakery with dozens of open tables? Mine is the one they gravitate toward. It’s uncanny andrelentless, and no matter how much I try to avoid the chaos, it seems to find me.

Friends have shared theories about why this happens. Some suggested that because I am quiet and move with a sense of peace, living souls with an opposite energy will be drawn to me. Some suggested that I am likable and it pulls people towards me. I find the latter hard to believe—beyond my family and close friends, I’m not exactly a social magnet. Ask any of my “let’s just be friends” ... they're all friends I don't have any more.

#Bars

One theory is that extroverts gravitate toward people. They feel comfortable being near others, even strangers, and often seek an audience for their verbal ass ualt. A quiet person, by default, seems more likely to listen or at least not to interrupt. I see some validity in this, as someone who appears approachable, a good listener, or simply less likely to challenge their chaotic energy.

I believe chaos is its own energy, one that actively seeks to disrupt peace. Naturally chaotic people, whether introverts or extroverts, find peace unsettling and feel compelled to break it. For them, peace is as unnerving as chaos is for me.

In this very moment, I'm realizing the connection between that opening statement and my observation about chaos versus calm is interesting. Both seem to speak to a broader theme about finding balance, whether in emotional expression or physical space.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

We out.