I’m having déjà vu and amnesia at the same time— I think I’ve written this before. Maybe it was a conversation with one of the two of you who read my blog?

Of Attractiveness

The other night I celebrated with a friend on her birthday, there were three of us— It was small and intimate. A week prior I got F.R.E.S.H. with a full haircut to celebrate another friend on her birthday. Due to timing and a need to ‘stay ready,’ I got a ‘fresh up (hair and beard line up) for the weeks’ end activities.

Back outside boys

Totin' a seventy on the strip, I'm ready to die

Cutting the traction, bending the corner, bet I make sh- glide

Tried to bring the drama to me, he ain't know how we cha-cha slide

I'll never lose sleep over no b-, way too much pride

Fill it up in a briefcase, split this sh- with the vibes

Lyrics loosely translated… I was on one. I had on a new shirt, flex pants, and low-top chucks. It was comfortable and allowed me to transition from a party bus to upscale dining with no in-between.

I was complimented on the fit and the cut; at the coffee shop, Trader Hose’, Harris Teeter, World Market, Assorted Wine Shop, Auto Bell, and over at your fav aunt’s house. Even with a high opinion of myself and an awareness of my attractiveness, I Remain self-conscious about the level of said attractiveness. Everyone likes genuine and sincere compliments. It makes us feel good, loved, and respected. Compliments boost our ego.

Science.

Of Self-Concept

As our ego expands, it directs the libido outward to others. According to Freud, our self-concept— Our sense of ourselves; our confidence, our pride, and our sense of attractiveness to others stems from three sources:

1. The residue of our original primary narcissism, which never fully disappears.

2. Our fulfillment of the imagined expectations of our ideal ego, i.e., our sense of being virtuous.

3. The satisfaction we get when our love is returned to us.

Freud was on one, or in this case, three.

I’ve had separate conversations with people over the past few weeks that were centered around individual development, social organization, love, sexual relationships, and self-concept. The common thread is the pursuit of happiness. At times there is an unattainable idea of what we are looking for in our romantic and emotional lives, where an object of our desire is idealized. How we idealize our love objects, in some cases, has to do with deficits in our ego. If we feel self-conscious about something that we believe we are lacking or something we don’t have, we might look for it in those we love.

“The Cure by Love”

I don’t know a single person, someone not in a relationship— not a singular person, who doesn’t want a mutually fulfilling relationship. At times we are the problem, get out of your own way.

I wish y’all love. I hope you are seen, heard, and understood in your romantic and emotional lives.

As for me? I'ma B' chilling on the couch cheering y'all on. Invite me to the wedding or baby shower bruh’.

O. B. TramueL