Spam (In Real Life)

The email (and now domain) for tramuel dot com is managed through Google Apps. The spam filtering in Apps is excellent and it delivers most spam items directly to the spam mailbox where they are held for 30 days and then delete themselves once they age out. As false positives are rare, there is no reason to go into the spam mailbox.

Spam is simple to manage.

Rather, spam is simple to manage on the innanets’ but how do we handle human spam? It feels like I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time, I think I’ve written this before.

Loud chatter, screaming, over the top laughter or incredibly loud cell phone calls are similar to those annoying pop-ups, it is similar to people asking for money, accept they’re not a Nigerian Prince. I Am empathetic and a decent judge of character, but I don’t play God determining who is worthy of the one or two dollars in my pocket, so I do give when I am able however the hustle of hustling is spammy. 

I’ve always maintained that I do a decent job with non-defectiveness; limiting the use of “should” language and coercive “verbal hits” which others may perceive as unwanted advice or pressure to behave as I dictate. It doesn’t mean however that things don’t vex me. A great example of this was on Sunday; I went for a run on an open to the public, outdoor track at Johnson C. Smith University. At the time I arrived there were two people training at the run off ends of the track with no one actually running on the track. I intended to run 3.1057659876 miles and on mile 2, 3 others had approached the track, started stretching and then proceeded to run in the opposite direction as me.

In my head I was using all kind of should language and verbal hits.

Iyanla, fix my life

I’ve been in a recurring bad mood/funk lately with every seemingly small thing annoying me. I believe there is science behind our moods. 

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
— Dolly Parton

Dolly has a point, we can understand a lot about the science of happiness from our unhappiness. That unhappiness for me (most recently) comes from being around toxic people and feeling underwhelmed with a recent change in my work schedule. Honestly the work itself but that is another post. 

Iyanla just responded y’all and she told me to increase my serotonin.


Maybe Iyanla has a point? When I am unable to empty my real life spam folder or move those items into the trash the following helps. 

Drowning Out the Noise

I like to drown out the sound of the chaos of the world and listen to good music. Music is my drug of choice and sometimes I like a little extra medicine. Dope, dopamine.


Running itself is highly personal and for me it not only benefits my body but also my head providing a natural high. Endorphins can kick in during a run making you more awake and happier. Even when others get on the track going the wrong way. Stay woke. 


I Am no master of Zen but stealing 10 minutes for an afternoon quickie increases my feel good chemical levels. There are levels to this. Now level up and go save the Queen, this will increase your capacity for happiness and reduce your propensity towards negativity.

Saying N Followed By O

There is power in saying no. I practice it daily so when the time comes it rolls off of my tongue with the quickness. Phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain" are stressful. It's the equivalent of entering your email address on a site you know is not legit. You should just expect the spam in the form of constant request until you confirm the commitment. Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to do the nothing you already had planned.