Jealously and Admiration Run Neck and Neck

There is a quote that reads…

“It is the character of very few Wo/Men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered”

I’ve been holding court with The Key and she has been trying to reconcile envy and jealousy in her relationship categories: Love, Work, Family and Friendships. 

She said, and I quote

“A win for others is not a loss (for you)”

There are two primary emotional states when considering this:

Jealousy

Jealousy refers to negative thoughts and feelings that incorporate fear, insecurity, discontent and worry over the perceived talents, property and/or advantages of another person with the threat that the person can replace them. Jealousy is an emotion that is characterized by overwhelming insecurity. However, it is rarely expressed in any single behavior.

Envy

Envy is often used interchangeably with the word jealousy, since some people are jealous and envious at the same time, but as an emotion its definition differs. Envy occurs within a person when they specifically lack another person's talents, property and/or advantages and specifically desire them for themselves, so much so that they will wish ill will on the person. Envy is characterized by overwhelming hate and self-importance.

I imagine if confronted, a “friend” might respond that they are genuinely happy, proud, excited for you and then they hit you with the BIG BUT, proclaiming it is neither jealousy or envy and will now push a narrative of disapproval or dissent. 

Disapproval masked behind values or lifestyle.

“I don’t know why you travel so much; you should put that money into a house.”

Dissent masked behind society’s edicts.

There is very little acceptance for unmarried women. While being 30 and unmarried is common for many women they are still judged for that. People known to me, don't mind that judgment. They’ve made the choices that they wanted to make.

Damn, City Girls Up

♫ Jealously and admiration run neck and neck (Facts)
Man, these boys say they lit but livin' check to check (That's crazy)
We on that big boy yacht, come with an extra deck
I pump 'caine into my chambers, lookin' extra wet (Water)
Say less, nigga, stay blessed (Facts)