A random observation about nothing and yet, everything—grocery shopping when you’re finally buying for pleasure instead of survival.
What changes when you’re not scraping by?
It hits me in produce, this small but steady feeling that I’m no longer in survival mode. No more calculating how long I can stretch a box of oatmeal or if I can afford the fruit this week…
Read MoreThere’s a quiet choreography that happens when someone gets in your car, especially when it’s someone you care about, or someone you’re still learning.
No words need to be exchanged, and yet, something subtle unfolds. They hop into the passenger seat, and I hand over control of the music, literally. My phone stays put, and theirs gets linked via Bluetooth…
Read MoreIt’s just something we say, right?
We say it after dinners with friends, after long phone calls that stretch into the night, after first dates that leave us somewhere between hopeful and hesitant.
“Let me know you got home safe”
Read MoreIt’s not quite inside, not quite out. It’s a place where shoes come off, but not always. Where conversations trail off, not because they’re over, but because they’ve landed somewhere soft…
Read MoreOne of my favorite hikes is the seven-mile loop around Salem Lake in Winston-Salem. The trail offers good elevation, but it’s more of a moderate walk; gravel paths, inclines, and beautiful views. Whether I’m on the treadmill at my home gym, running on the outdoor track at the Y, or hiking at Freedom Park, I prefer to work out fasted and only drink water after my session. The same holds true for my hike around Salem Lake. I don’t weigh myself down with a water bottle or a “fanny pack” filled with keys, phones, and other things. I simply power through, focusing on the task, until I reach the finish line…
Read MoreOne of the things I appreciate about working at the Y is connecting with people. Now, the two of you reading my blog know me, and you’re probably side-eyeing that statement because you know I do not like people. But every now and then, I come across some genuinely cool folks…
Read MoreI unmuted Kendrick, Lamar, Drake, NFL, and Super Bowl and now I see why I muted them in the first place.
Many of you are deep in confirmation bias,
the tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms your pre-existing beliefs while dismissing evidence that challenges them
This has become particularly evident in the ongoing discourse around certain artists.
THE EVOLUTION OF A DISCOURSE
& I've found myself increasingly troubled by the intensity of criticism directed at Drake, particularly in the context of this recent "rap battle" with Kendrick Lamar. What started as typical rivalry evolved into something far more complex; a referendum on cultural authenticity, racial identity, and the unspoken rules of belonging.
Read MoreLately, I’ve been thinking about how wildly different my life looks compared to five years ago. And not just in the “time flies” kind of way but in the “words have power, and apparently, they’ve been working overtime” kind of way…
Read MoreIf the third-grade teacher in the Honda Accord is the foundation, then the professor is the evolution. Someone who takes what is simple and gives it depth, who refines knowledge into wisdom. She is the kind of person who doesn’t just read the world but interprets it, who knows that the right question is often more valuable than the right answer…
Read MoreDuring a session not too long ago, my therapist, after listening to me stumble through an attempt to articulate what I value in a partner, stopped me mid-sentence.
“You need a third-grade teacher who drives a Honda Accord,” she said, dead ass…
Read MoreMy son, not-so-little Brian, is a sophomore in school and has shared concerns about the current state of affairs in these un-United States. He worries about how current policies will affect his ability to find meaningful work. I initially minimized his concerns by advising him to keep his head down and finish school. He will always have a place "at home," and he won't have the burden of student loan debt because The Tramuel (formerly known as) and I have covered his tuition. But his concerns are still valid, and it's important to listen and empathize…
Read MoreLife has a way of delivering its insights through the most random moments... a quick glance, a passing comment, or even the way someone approaches you at work. Lately, I've been reflecting on a few of these types of observations, and I can't help but notice how they overlap with larger themes about connection, perception, and grace…
Read MoreI’ve often told myself that “you are not responsible for someone else’s feelings, only for how you advise them of your disinterest.” It’s a principle rooted in fairness and boundaries—a way to navigate relationships without leading anyone on or offering false promises. And in theory, it’s a reasonable and honest approach. But in practice, it feels much messier…
Read MoreThe line between autonomy and external influence is often blurred, making the conversation about aesthetics far more complex than it first appears…
Read MoreAs I scroll through Threads, I’m intentional about what I interact with- liking posts that resonate with me without any expectation of a like or comment in return. I’m equally purposeful with my comments, avoiding engagement-bait questions or interactions with people who don’t seem genuinely interested in dialogue. More often than not, I use journaling or my blog to work through my thoughts in depth…
Read MoreSocial media often reduces us to curated moments, leading to misunderstandings about our values and interests. True connection comes from understanding the underlying reasons behind our choices, not just from surface-level observations. In a world full of noise, feeling truly understood is more meaningful than just being seen…
Read MoreWell actually, the Virgo will overanalyze, and then conversations become layered with unspoken truths, societal systems reveal their flaws, and the little quirks of human behavior that once seemed charming now feel like rehearsed performances. It’s not that others are shallow, my point of view has 20/5 vision, and I can’t unsee what I’ve seen…
Read MoreThe two of you reading this know me well enough to understand that I’m not becoming an actual villain. I’m not abandoning my decency or planning to treat others poorly. What this means is that I’m done prioritizing the feelings, boundaries, and needs of others at the expense of my own…
Read MoreWhen I began to prioritize my health, all of the healths: emotional, social, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, intellectual, and my favorite sexual... I noticed that some people started to fill in the blanks with their ass umptions and narratives. & by some people, I mean women, some would "Lol, I'm just serious" me to death, referring to my structured lifestyle as having a team, suggesting I'm juggling multiple situationships. The reality? I'm just at home, focused on my goals, in bed by 8 in the PMs…
Read MoreEvery time I see a “solo date” post on social media, I feel a bit… well, conflicted, like seeing a cat dressed as a pirate. I mean, it’s cute, but is it necessary? I’ve always believed people should use social media however they like. If something resonates, I’ll engage; if not, I just scroll past. But these solo date posts started to bug me, and I had to wonder why…
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