My Super Villain Arc

My Super Villain Arc

The Reclamation Artist

The two of you reading this know me well enough to understand that I’m not becoming an actual villain. I’m not abandoning my decency or planning to treat others poorly. What this means is that I’m done prioritizing the feelings, boundaries, and needs of others at the expense of my own…

Read More

Square Box. Round Pizza. Triangle Slices.

Square Box. Round Pizza. Triangle Slices.

When I began to prioritize my health, all of the healths: emotional, social, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, intellectual, and my favorite sexual... I noticed that some people started to fill in the blanks with their ass umptions and narratives. & by some people, I mean women, some would "Lol, I'm just serious" me to death, referring to my structured lifestyle as having a team, suggesting I'm juggling multiple situationships. The reality? I'm just at home, focused on my goals, in bed by 8 in the PMs…

Read More

A Love Jones For Your Body and Your Skin Tone

A Love Jones For Your Body and Your Skin Tone

Every time I see a “solo date” post on social media, I feel a bit… well, conflicted, like seeing a cat dressed as a pirate. I mean, it’s cute, but is it necessary? I’ve always believed people should use social media however they like. If something resonates, I’ll engage; if not, I just scroll past. But these solo date posts started to bug me, and I had to wonder why…

Read More

Conversations About A Four Letter Word

Conversations About A Four Letter Word

I don’t enjoy conversations about love. “It’s not because it’s an emotion… an abstraction that is hard to quantify and define.” It’s not because I tend to have more of a logical locus of control than an emotional one. It's because social media has profoundly influenced how men and women perceive and engage with each other, shifting the narrative from emotional connection to transactional expectations. Instead of love as mutual understanding and growth, we now often see a narrow focus on what men can materially provide and what women refuse to compromise on—

Read More

Hangnail

Hangnail

“Peeling away, yet I’m compelled to stay, cherishing you from a place between drawing blood & the gentlest touch.” - Hangnail

Hanging on by a thread…

I've been active on Threads and I'm enjoying it so far. However, I haven't fully figured out how the algorithm works. It shows me a lot of content from local users in Charlotte, with many threads about food, traffic, dating, fitness, and life in Uptown. 

Read More

Random Observation About Nothing #5,000,654

Random Observation About Nothing #5,000,654

My interest in [redacted] isn't about wanting her, but about why she's not falling for me like others usually do.

The self-proclaimed social media experts, "Hmm... since you got your degree, and you know every fucking thing," would label me a narcissist. But honestly, it’s more of an ego thing than full-on narcissism.

Read More

Reflections on Relationships: The Cities That Taught Me Lessons

Reflections on Relationships: The Cities That Taught Me Lessons

After my divorce, I quickly learned that dating in these un-united of states is different. Our attachment to technology has escalated the disconnection, reducing genuine connections to swipes, likes, and fleeting messages. This experience has transformed my view of relationships.

Read More

Don’t Use Your Sadness As a Weapon

Don’t Use Your Sadness As a Weapon

We all experience sadness— It’s a fundamental part of being human. Whether it stems from a loss, disappointment, or a difficult life situation, sadness is a natural emotion that helps us process our experiences. When I read my daily update via Co-Star I immediately understood. I don't believe I weaponize my sadness, I typically go inward and isolate not wanting to pull anyone into it. However, I recognize a fine line between feeling sad and using that sadness as a weapon in our relationships; love, marriage, friendship, family, and work. When sadness becomes a tool for manipulation, it can damage trust, create resentment, and ultimately deteriorate the foundation of even the strongest connections. 

Manipulation is a strong word choice,

"But it is what it is."

Read More

Friday Afternoon Musings and What’s On My Mind Right Now

Friday Afternoon Musings and What’s On My Mind Right Now

Honor among thieves, the 2024 election cycle.

During my last eight years at BofA, I formed strong connections with folks. Yesterday, I felt immense gratitude while talking with a former coworker who has become a great friend. I initiated the call and started with, “I have ten people in my favorites on my phone, and you are one of them.” We weren’t talking about anything in particular, but it highlighted how much I value genuine connections…

Read More

Random Observation About Nothing #2,549,954

Random Observation About Nothing #2,549,954

I’ve been married twice, both times to a Virgo. Their quirks and classic traits have become my baseline. Eighteen years with one and over twenty with the other have shaped my entire adult life. If you asked me how a woman would act in any given scenario, my perspective would be undeniably influenced by my experiences with them…

Read More

Think In Images

Think In Images

Experiences shape our understanding and appreciation of the world in vivid, lasting images. Art captures the essence of emotions, nature's beauty speaks to our souls through its colors and forms, and cooking becomes an act of love and connection. Each teaches us to think in images, enhancing our lives with memories that stay with us forever.

Read More

Wounding and Healing

Wounding and Healing

I wrote this post in December 2013, and it's fascinating how little has changed since then.

Reposting now—

Exercise in Observation

My social media streams are diverse. Included are elements of everything that I love; music, food, photography, sports, and reading [books and blogs]. There are very few antipathies, if I encounter anything I disagree with, rather than debate I remind myself that living souls have the right to believe who, what, when, where, and why they want.

Read More

Lol, I’m Just Serious

Lol, I’m Just Serious

Connection Crabbing

Connection crabbing is often the result of a relationship catalyst-- one of two parties seeking to end a relationship, whether social media or ones that spill over into the streets. The other party's hurt and confusion become destructive and are exhibited in this manner, either out of feelings of rejection or a desire to control and hurt. 

Read More

Hi-Jacked Social Media Term – Emotional Intelligence 

Hi-Jacked Social Media Term – Emotional Intelligence 

Emotional intelligence is a widely used term, but its meaning has often been distorted. It is frequently described as the capacity to perceive, utilize, comprehend, manage, and deal with emotions.

People with high emotional intelligence are believed to recognize their emotions and those of others, use emotional information to guide their thinking and behavior, differentiate between feelings, label them appropriately, and adjust their emotions to adapt to different environments. This is a trait that many folks seeking love on social media list as something they desire in a partner.

Read More

Logical Calisthenics

Logical Calisthenics

As Summer approaches and we move into the season where carrying sand to the beach is prohibited and where sundresses become the norm, breakups become more common. Men retreat into their soft guy era, women move into a no-contact zone. 

We are at an impasse, and the only way forward is with Logical Calisthenics. Try this calisthenics routine in the morning when you wake up or at night before bed…

Read More

Home, body.

Home, body.

As a homebody, people often assume that I am boring or unadventurous, but that's not the case. Just last weekend I went on an adventure. I left my apartment at 7:00 AM and by 7:30 AM, I had spent a hundred dollars easily. I enjoy being at home because everything is paid for, including food, internet, drinks, water, and electricity…

Read More

Equal. Mutual. Reciprocal.

Equal. Mutual. Reciprocal.

I believe the tendency of truth, on this subject, is to equalize the sexes; and that, when truth directs us, there will be no longer assumed authority on one side, or admitted inferiority on the other; but that as we advance in the cultivation of all our powers, physical as well as intellectual and moral, we shall see that our independence is equal, our dependence mutual, and our obligations reciprocal.

-Lucretia Mott

Read More