Manifesting the Third-Grade Teacher Who Drives a Honda Accord

During a session not too long ago, my therapist, after listening to me stumble through an attempt to articulate what I value in a partner, stopped me mid-sentence.

“You need a third-grade teacher who drives a Honda Accord,” she said, dead ass.

It was her way of distilling my scattered thoughts into something tangible. Someone intelligent, nurturing, minimalist, and frugal, not in the penny-pinching sense, but in the way that prioritizes experiences over things. Someone who moves through life with quiet confidence, whose presence feels like a deep exhale. She also challenged me to put it into words:

• The capacity for empathy.

• Humor.

• The willingness to keep talking.

• An understanding of how emotions work.

• A belief in the importance of ground rules.

And since we’re making lists—there are personal preferences too, things that draw me in without effort. A natural approach to life, an ease in their skin, a certain richness in tone and presence. It’s a list that felt aspirational then, but now,

I wonder if I’ve already met her…