Silly Bandz

Silly Bandz - Rubber band-like figures that are worn as bracelets, and can be made into shapes like animals. Immensely popular among elementary-aged school children.

I’m Mr.TramueL and I wear Silly Bandz. Admitting is the first step.

So every morning on my way out the door I take great care to grab my cell, watch, bluetooth stereo headset, my pocket armor {A shield my mama gave me and a bookmark with my favorite scripture on it}, any loose change, my books and last but not least my silly bandz.

Folk recognize them and ask what they are or laugh in amusement that a grown man is wearing them, an associate even asked why … “I thought they were for children?” I told her I would get back to her.

The BIG Get Back

Little Mr.TramueL had me drive to four Walgreens, Books-A-Million, and some snoody-ta-doodie {Oh they fancy huh?} toy store in the middle of the night so he wouldn’t be the last in his class to have them. {The things we do for our kids} But he is so handsome, add the fact that he looks like me … I had to please myself. *Pause*

I like to take his silly bandz while he’s asleep

Fathers must understand these critical needs of every child

1. Loving Discipline
2. Unconditional Love
3. Anger Management
4. Protection from the harmful influences of our culture
5. Knowing God

Father’s Day was another opportunity for me and self-analysis, you see I hadn’t heard from my daughter and both boys were with me. My teenage son didn’t utter one word about Father’s Day but little Mr.TramueL had given me a father’s day painting a few days earlier. He also {without a prompt from his mother} told me Happy Father’s day. Told me he & BIG bro were taking me out for dinner but I would have to pay. 0_O

I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty good father. I provided for their  material needs, did all of the for “show”  things but must admit that I’ve failed at giving focused attention and fulfilling their emotional needs. Spending enough time that they thought they were the most important people in the world to me. {Which they are} Finding time to focus on my children has been and is one of the greatest challenges of parenting. I wish that I recognized this earlier with respect to  my daughter and first son, which probably explains why they only seem to reach out to me when they need something. I remember being that age and wondering why my parents didn’t provide for my material needs, it was because they were taking great care to provide for my spiritual needs.

I wear the silly bandz because little Mr.TramueL gave them to me, he makes me feel like I’m the most important person in the world. His unconditional love, shows me how to love others despite my sins, shortcomings and failures.

Magic Always,

Mr. “Transforming through my opportunities” TramueL

SPERM DONOR

I had a visit with my old roommate; she was holding some mail for me at her place. Yes, I said she. I know you are wondering "Did Mr.TramueL smash?" well kids the answer is no, now stay focused & keep your minds out of the gutter. Although once or twice she did show up at my door butt naked talking bout' how she was so alone. We made small talk about the weather, the bank (we use to work together), my kids, the holidays, her family and then her "sperm donor." In a rather nonchalant way she proceeds to tell me that her biological father had passed. Given what I knew about their relationship the smirk on her face confused me, well maybe not. I mean we lived together for a little over a year so I thought I had her diagnosed as bipolar figured out, so her whole demeanor perplexed me. Being the intelligently hedonistic person that I am, I decided to probe a little further and ask how she really felt. She found out on Christmas day, an Aunt called her mom to let the family know. We got through my investigation without coming to blows, which is surprising, cause' at one point I was standing over her with the spotlight shining directly at her soul wanting her to break down and cry for this man who cared so little about her life. I went hard! *Pause. End Scene*

I sit down on the couch, she didn't break. I thought she was using the smirk as some type of inner defense mechanism to block her true pain, but I don't believe she felt any kinda way. Why was I so obsessed? Unlike her my "sperm donor" {Those are her choice words} I like to refer to him as "the punk ass mofo who impregnated my mother and didn't give a flying eff about anyone but himself selfish ass bastard" but that's too long so we will use "sperm donor" … *Clears Throat* Unlike her if I passed my sperm donor on the street I wouldn't know it was him, unlike her I don't know if I have any brothers or sisters fathered by him, unlike her I never knew where he lived. Unlike her I never had an opportunity to converse {Is conversate a word?} with him.

Women whom I've been involved with seem to think that this missing piece of my life is somehow hindering or holding me back from really committing to someone {That's a whole notha' post} and I often wonder if I use some type of inner defense mechanism to make me believe that I don't care. Like her I really don't care, if someone told me he passed I wouldn't feel anything. My mother married when I was five, I have a wonderful step-father that has been and is still a positive influence in my life. So we stole we didn't get stole on.

I could go on but …

Do As I Say Not As I Do

✍ Be more realistic about yourself.

✍ Beware of negative expectations.

✍ Slowly build a solid base of self-confidence.

✍ Accept your fate.