The Weightlessness of Not Explaining Yourself

There’s a kind of peace that comes from not having to explain yourself. Not because you’re avoiding anything. Not because you’ve shut down or closed off. But because the people around you already get it. You’ve built a rhythm with them intentionally or over time where your boundaries don’t need a presentation, and your choices don’t need a backstory.

That kind of understanding?

It’s light.

It’s ease.

It’s emotional breathability.

Take my weekends, for example. My people know: I have “no” weekends, where I’m not coming out of the house, not putting on real clothes, not attending anything that involves RSVP-ing. And then I have “yes” weekends, where I open my calendar, catch up with friends, show up and show love. I don’t have to explain which weekend it is or why, it’s understood. Honored. That’s freedom.

And when it comes to emotional space? My people ask. They’ll say, “Do you have the capacity for this?” before unloading a situation or seeking my ear. That simple pause honors the fact that I’m not just a sounding board on standby… I’m a whole person with energy that needs to be protected, just like theirs. And they also know: I’m not jumping into fixer mode. Unless they explicitly say, “Can you help me figure this out?” I’m not offering advice. I’m holding space, not handing out solutions. No side-eyes. No guilt trips. Just alignment. 

It took time to get here. Time, and honest conversations, and a lot of undoing old habits like over-explaining, over-compensating, or trying to prove that my way of doing life made sense. But once I realized that being understood doesn’t mean being available for constant translation, things got lighter.

This kind of weightlessness is rare. And when you find it in a friend, in a co-parent, in a former partner who still knows your rhythms and respects your space you hold onto it. You honor it in return. 

It doesn’t mean we never explain ourselves. It just means we no longer feel like we have to. 

And that difference? That’s what lets us move through the world with ease.

Grounded in who we are.

Clear in what we need.

Understood without having to say too much,

I Am