Define Your Role

Super Mr.TramueL is back!

Don’t worry mere mortals … I use my powers for good not evil.

{{{Evil Voice Laugh}}} mwahahaha

Over the last three weeks there have been several missions that needed my impractical wisdumb so I dawned & sealed my protective mask, pulled up my tights, threw on my cape and flew in to save the day! Two friendgurlz situations immortalized in this post. No names were used (only pronouns) to protect the downtrodden.

Mission Improbable

Boy meets girl, boy & girl fall in love, boy & girl make plans to marry, boy & girl move in together … boy & girl now start to question a few things. They feel silly talking about “a few things” with others because they are so small in comparison with real sh*t men & women go through. But therein lies the problem, the small things can be such a HUGE drain emotionally. One wants kids the other doesn’t. One wants to buy a condo the other wants a house. One folds the towels in half the other in half, then in half again. Are you serious Mr.TramueL ... towels? Yes towels … Her: “My grandma taught me how to fold towels and that’s the way I’ve always done it.” Him: “Your grandma was wrong.” *Side note* When he woke up from “her” knockout blow he was asked did he know where he was, he replied “… at my mama’s house.”

If you are raised, grow up observing or taught to do things a certain way it becomes embedded in you, second nature and we tend not to challenge our thought process assuming that our outlook is shared by our significant other, especially after you’ve played with each other horizontally.

The learned behavior in men, whether taught or observed, is to be the head of the house and by that authority the woman should be submissive to his will. When that will is challenged he will seek other ways to gain what he perceives as control.

The “un”learned behavior in women, whether taught or observed, is that of independence and self reliance. When that independence is challenged or she is made to feel inferior she will tell everybody that will listen she will seek other ways to feel empowered.

“She” called to ask for help or rather needed confirmation that her point of view was correct. She believes that because she makes more money than her husband, she shouldn’t have to answer to him and that all decisions should run through her. “She” said everyone else responded with the “compromise” and “ya’ll should make decisions as a team” nonsense. Well I’m the referee and I’m throwing the flag … bullsh*t. Even on a team there is a coach that draws up the last play with instructions on how to win. Compromise, a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms, often involving variations from an original goal or desire … bullsh*t, someone always gets their way. What is the compromise between someone wanting children & someone not wanting children?

Someone has to lead; I don’t care who as long as its not about money, power or control. Have a conversation; connect emotion and intellect, look for thoughtfulness in love and be open to the other point of view.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Don’t be afraid to take the lead. Direction is needed – you may have to supply it. Strengthen your will to avoid indecision.