Forty One Years To Life ... S. Salter

Sunny’s Thoughts On Aging …

“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”

~Author Unknown

I’m 28 years of age and I’m glad to have made it this far. So many friends I have lost early on, I’m privileged to see 28. I look forward to getting older… living past my 40’s is my goal as of right now.

My favorite birthday was last year; I spent it with close friends and family. Played cards and enjoyed the night. The age I felt most alive was 19, I had a baby girl who gave me a reason to keep things moving along. After facing death in the eye and making it this far I’m truly blessed.

My advice: Don’t trip over age; just remember those who you’ve lost that never got a chance to live to see that day in their lives.

S. Sarith

S. Sarith

He Said, She Said ... Bringing Others Up

" Today's word is ANOTHER. You are successful but have you helped someone else up the ladder with you? Is there someone you could mentor? Find time to help another ... "

~Leslie Tramuel

The Week of The Observer

WhatAreYouLQQkingAt

WhatAreYouLQQkingAt

I’ve been extremely busy working full time, part time and trying to establish TramueL Consulting {Controlled Emotional Response}  add the stress & shade from starting a new job {the full time position} but that’s not the point. All of that to say sorry I haven’t been commenting & providing my intelligently hedonistic thoughts all up on your page. I’ve even neglected my standard bi-weekly post.

 … any who I felt compelled to share my observations because I’ve been receiving the same message delivered in different formats. I guess that means I should share …

Twitter

Tweet

Tweet

*Shout out to @Scrumptious1 if she ever reads this

Personal Conversation

{Paraphrased}

“I’m not looking” “I’m going to focus on me and mine” “Relationships are too complicated”

Observation

Why do we reinvent ourselves when a relationship begins? We buy new drawz, shave {for men beards, for women … never mind} fix our hair, hide relatives sometimes kids Chris Rock quote: “We send our representative” Men lie about resources, women lie about what they want. Science proves it. Class.

Why do we reinvent ourselves when a relationship ends? We eat better, start exercising, buying new things “in with the new, out with the old” right? Eat right. Feel good. Look great. New friend. Complacency. Repeat. The end.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Do those things while you are in a relationship, encourage each other, support each other. Why won’t you be great together? Hold each other accountable … just a thought.

Mr. “it’s very late & I’ve been at work since 10 a.m. so ignore this weird post” TramueL

Define Your Role

Super Mr.TramueL is back!

Don’t worry mere mortals … I use my powers for good not evil.

{{{Evil Voice Laugh}}} mwahahaha

Over the last three weeks there have been several missions that needed my impractical wisdumb so I dawned & sealed my protective mask, pulled up my tights, threw on my cape and flew in to save the day! Two friendgurlz situations immortalized in this post. No names were used (only pronouns) to protect the downtrodden.

Mission Improbable

Boy meets girl, boy & girl fall in love, boy & girl make plans to marry, boy & girl move in together … boy & girl now start to question a few things. They feel silly talking about “a few things” with others because they are so small in comparison with real sh*t men & women go through. But therein lies the problem, the small things can be such a HUGE drain emotionally. One wants kids the other doesn’t. One wants to buy a condo the other wants a house. One folds the towels in half the other in half, then in half again. Are you serious Mr.TramueL ... towels? Yes towels … Her: “My grandma taught me how to fold towels and that’s the way I’ve always done it.” Him: “Your grandma was wrong.” *Side note* When he woke up from “her” knockout blow he was asked did he know where he was, he replied “… at my mama’s house.”

If you are raised, grow up observing or taught to do things a certain way it becomes embedded in you, second nature and we tend not to challenge our thought process assuming that our outlook is shared by our significant other, especially after you’ve played with each other horizontally.

The learned behavior in men, whether taught or observed, is to be the head of the house and by that authority the woman should be submissive to his will. When that will is challenged he will seek other ways to gain what he perceives as control.

The “un”learned behavior in women, whether taught or observed, is that of independence and self reliance. When that independence is challenged or she is made to feel inferior she will tell everybody that will listen she will seek other ways to feel empowered.

“She” called to ask for help or rather needed confirmation that her point of view was correct. She believes that because she makes more money than her husband, she shouldn’t have to answer to him and that all decisions should run through her. “She” said everyone else responded with the “compromise” and “ya’ll should make decisions as a team” nonsense. Well I’m the referee and I’m throwing the flag … bullsh*t. Even on a team there is a coach that draws up the last play with instructions on how to win. Compromise, a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms, often involving variations from an original goal or desire … bullsh*t, someone always gets their way. What is the compromise between someone wanting children & someone not wanting children?

Someone has to lead; I don’t care who as long as its not about money, power or control. Have a conversation; connect emotion and intellect, look for thoughtfulness in love and be open to the other point of view.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Don’t be afraid to take the lead. Direction is needed – you may have to supply it. Strengthen your will to avoid indecision.

According to the Official Figures, 43% of All Statistics are Totally Worthless

The labor department reported 85,000 jobs were lost due to the economy in December. I also continue to see record high unemployment rates across the nation, the carve out of unemployed Negro males {'Negro' now a choice on census forms} is higher than any other demographic … Then I realized that I’m a statistic! I’ve heard elected officials and analyst refer to an acceptable level of unemployment. WTF? Really? An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

May 2010 will make two years for me without a comparable full-time job. I’m employed in a part-time capacity by the very company that laid me off or rather I was rehired, yep after seven years I was treated just like anyone else, background check and the whole nine.

WANTED: A Boss

While I’ve done a fair job at best of maintaining … Did I ever tell ya’ll how much I like using ellipsis? It is time to get back to the business of handling business. I know you’ve either heard or seen this from me “there is no such thing as job security anymore and there are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.” But damn! The entrepreneurial spirit isn’t taking off like I thought it would. A brotha’ got big dreams, BIG dreams and it doesn’t involve being filthy rich a weakness for money does not imply power but rather doing something that I enjoy, providing a service that people want and need, strengthening the community, now add the fact that I would be able to support myself … BIG bucks no whammies! A definite plus.

To everyone finding their way in this madness remember there is nothing permanent except change.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Tend to what needs fixing … don’t leave it all up to fate. Make decisions and act on them decisively.

Dig in your heels. Don’t depend on your talent or take success for granted, hard work is always needed.

Play-Acting

Jaded cynical attitudes can be deadening.

I ran into an acquaintance from high-school a few days back. Notice I wrote “acquaintance” … notice I wrote “High-School”.

I’ve been away from high-school for a minute, to give you an idea how long that’s been, my transcript reads “Gender: Male Race: Negro”

{Stepping Away for a Minute}

In school I was reserved, not shy or an introvert but more selective about whom I gave the business to socialize with. I was an average athlete good at most but never excelled. My theory on the self-reliance and independence is associated with growing up in a house that was one of two houses on a block where the only other structure was a church. I believe you are a product of your environment and I am just like the house I grew up in self-sustained and independent.

{Now I’m Back}

Of Mr. Play Actor and others who seem to hold onto their “self-proclaimed” glory days and awareness that all the world is a stage, fully embracing the various opportunities for role-playing. People with low self-esteem are caught in powerful emotional beliefs about themselves. No I didn’t make the varsity basketball team; No I’m not still in a marching band; no I’m not still dating Halle Berry. Man that was years ago. However, Mr.TramueL™ see’s through your mask. These things are all said in an effort to BIG you up. The conversation never progresses past sh*t that we used to do and I keep getting pulled back to the future … Me: “Oh, that’s great man, the little dance group didn’t work out for you? That’s okay cause’ you’re the night manager at McDonald's now huh? That’s good, real good.” People with low self-esteem often look desperately for evidence that they're good. You don’t have to put others down to bring yourself up.

“Welcome to McDonalds may I take your order please?” Yes, I would like for you to have the rewards of self-knowledge.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

☛ Beware of competition and jealousies.

☛ Don’t hold on to your pain.

☛ Drop the mask.

Humor Abounding

Untitled

I get myself into trouble sometimes because I use humor, sarcasm and witty snap backs usually to express some critical comment. My bio is true ...

"Sometimes nit-picky & critical, “secretly” feeling he handles matters better than others" 

How ironic.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Know When To Be Serious And When To Let Up

Don’t Let Teasing Get Out Of Hand

Beware Of Third-Party Rivalries

Act With Consideration To All

On Who’s Terms?

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I played the love doctor again today, well rather this time I played a male nurse and just listened while I took the patient's blood pressure and checked their heart beat allowing two of my female friends {Definition: (Fe)male: Male with iron added, for greater strength, ductility, and magnetism} to wheel and parry about what somebody didn't do for them Blah, Blah, Blah ~

On the Married Couple

Whether consciously or unconsciously they've crafted a set of rules for themselves. If I were a fly on the wall, I would probably comment on why they ain't invite me to the reception notice a common theme in their relationship: Who will impose ideas and who will follow them? Though they generally get along well, and have a lot of respect for each other, no kids in the house so they probably have lots of sex they have different ideas as to what a relationship / marriage should be all about. Thus the focus here is the issue of what shared ideology will work for them.

Do as I say, not as I do:

Learn to compromise without resentment, swallow your pride occasionally and work for the common cause.

On the Friend Guy Friend Girl Couple

Their focus is power, whether the challenge is to seize it, exercise it, or give it up. I've noticed a spiritual evolution process; first striving for and grasping power, then learning more about themselves and their relationship and finally letting go of power in favor of higher ends. They may have to acknowledge their social or personal power and live with it for a while before they can give it up. Ayo! social & personal power I'mma let you finish but the power of love is one of the greatest powers of all time! Along the way they may come to realize it and understand that it should not be given up but given away and shared with others freely.

Do as I say, not as I do:

Don't get carried away by power, seek your own path, simple acts of kindness can be very strong.

Mr.TramueL is a four letter word beginning with L and ending in E enabler. Stay on your toes kids, L O V E

Two Fingers, One Word ~

Conversation With Myself

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(Me) Hey Mr.TramueL! How are you doing today?! 

(Myself) No complaints, just maintaining.

(Me) True ... true. You sound a bit unnerved wanna talk about it?

(Myself) Thanks ... but I'm good

(Me) Okay cool but here is some advice:

"Do as I say not as I do" 

Learn to temper your intensity. By understanding yourself better, you will be less at the mercy of your moods. Work on improving social relationships and continue to befriend others. Beware of any tendencies to close yourself off. Allow your warm and loving side full rein and keep your heart open.

Needing To Be Needed

My determination to always be at my best is typically magnified in most of my relationships granting me little rest. However when that phone call, e-mail or text message comes with those famous words "Hey, What you doing. Guess What?"

… I get all emotional (I'mma keep it short. I don't want another another feminine moment. I can't stand the smell of that night blooming jasmine.)

They picked me! They could have chosen anyone but they chose me! It feels good when I am able to impart my impractical wisdumb upon the earth.


Do as I say not as I do
Be aware of your effect on others.

Do not exhaust yourself in pursuit of the latest trend.

Seek traditional values.

*Remember a house can not be united with it's brothers, sisters, mamas, daddies, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, boos, baby daddies, baby mamas, friend girls and friend guys divided. Now get out there and Unite!

A Thought / Feeling Split

Have you really tried to understand?

No. Okay well why don't you try to mute dissent and turn arguments into conversations. ☚ Not a question ... this is advice.

Look outside your own world

We all get caught up secretly believing that our way is better than others, however,The Merciless God of Perfection doesn't want you to believe there are other ways of viewing things. ☚ Shout out to The One real GOD, his SON & their homeboy the HOLY GHOST cause' they are the only ones you should put your faith in.

Pay attention to the needs of others

Try to keep track of what's going on, be sensitive to telltale signs & don't take things for granted. Think constructively & work to improve relations.

Calm your nerves and center yourself

Don't stick stubbornly to your point of view, go smoke or exercise or do that thing the we all like to do ☚ You scream, I scream, we all scream for ...

  • SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.
  • SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health.
  • SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.
  • SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

A Fall from Grace

It always amazes me how folk  hide behind a facade of religion and faith, write one social comment praising God and the very next one raising hell. Before you judge anyone for what you perceive to be "A fall from Grace" ... turn the mirror around and ask yourself; Have I cultivated acceptance and understanding? Have I suspended judgments? Have I learned to compromise? Photobucket

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