Nothing Comes From Nothing

In the flow of conversation with a good friend, I assertively talked about my awareness and understanding of the dynamics of aging. In context, the discussion was specific to me as a single unknown black male. The subtext, was specific to me being alone (not lonely) as I age.  

Aging is related to changes in dynamic biological, functional, environmental, mental, behavioral, and social processes. Some age-related changes are benign, like a graying beard. Other age-related changes result in deteriorations in the function of the senses and normal life and an increased predisposition to and frequency of disease, feebleness, or incapacity.

Also in the flow of conversation, I say that I want to be as healthy as possible and as financially prepared to care for myself. 'Cause after being in long-term relationships the whole of my adult life; two marriages and subsequent divorce. Eyes MF Tied - and I see myself alone.

Additionally, dating in this modern age provides more support for singleness. My first connection post-divorce inquired about my plans. At the time I didn't know what I was' doing in a few hours much less understanding what I wanted for my life. My plan and any vision of the future were erased with the divorce. It is however a fair question, we should qualify potential partners upfront, get it all out the way. Questions like "What's your credit score?" "What's your annual income?" Lol, I'm just serious. The question and the thought taught me two things: A successful formula for planning and that I was not ready to 'date'

Effort, Intention, Follow-Through. A plan

Relationships take planning and work. I don't want to plan or do the work.

All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone ~ Blaise Pascal

This post ain't about that, however, it is about this... The conversation heightened my good friend's awareness of her mortality. Where we are similar; we are both single and fifty-FINE years old. Where we differ; she has never been married, and has no children. It hit her differently. 

It legit’ had a hold on her for a few days. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, waiting for love to walk through her door, she wished she didn't miss ‘you’ anymore. I felt bad that she felt bad. The conversation was' just us talking, eating doughnuts, drinking milk, and listening to a pop tune. I didn’t understand her angst, she has a large, supportive family full of love and affection, with great friends who would do anything for her. I used my years of experience as a social media relationship expert and asked qualifying questions to uncover the underlying concern… 

People fear being alone; without a partner, or family and friends.

I believe this is natural for all of us, this fear is also the cause of our unhappiness. We socialize endlessly on Beyoncé’s’ innanet, through text messaging and feet finder to fill the void. Proceed with caution 'cause you may end up with someone masking themselves as an ideal partner, and still end up unhappy.

I remain,

O. B. TramueL