Reflections on Relationships: The Cities That Taught Me Lessons

After my divorce, I quickly learned that dating in these un-united of states is different. Our attachment to technology has escalated the disconnection, reducing genuine connections to swipes, likes, and fleeting messages. This experience has transformed my view of relationships.

I believed relationships were built purely on love and connection. Now, I've come to realize that at their core, they are transactional. This isn't necessarily negative—it's simply the nature of human interactions. Each relationship offered me something valuable, and I've learned that knowing these women and the lessons they brought was an enriching experience.

In conversations with friends, I use city names instead of real names to represent these relationships. Except for Detroit, the others likely know their aliases. I'll keep it clean in case they stumble upon this post.

Detroit: The Lesson of Alignment

Detroit brought spontaneity into my life, but also taught me that not everyone is meant for you, and vice versa. We often believe love will magically solve any misalignments, but that's not always the case. Some people appear perfect on the surface while masking deeper wounds—they aren't fully healed. Detroit reminded me of the importance of not only knowing yourself but also recognizing when someone's path doesn't align with yours, regardless of how good they might seem in fleeting moments.

Myers Park: The Power of Communication

Myers Park taught me about the power of communication and knowledge. Through our time together, I learned to embrace imperfections—both mine and hers. I discovered that communication isn't just about talking; it's about understanding and connecting on a deeper level. Myers Park transformed how I approach sourcing information, empowering me to make more well-informed decisions, explore emotions more fully, and find solutions. She showed me that emotional intelligence is just as crucial as intellectual understanding and requires continual nurturing.

Northern VA: The Importance of Holistic Health

Northern VA offered a profound lesson on the importance of health in all its forms—mental, physical, and emotional. This relationship helped me see how our connection to the world around us, especially with food and self-care, shapes our interactions with others. I learned to prioritize self-care, not out of selfishness, but out of respect for what I can offer in a relationship. If I'm not healthy—mind, body, and soul—I can't expect a partnership to thrive.

Greenville: Deepening Understanding of Love

Greenville brought me the deepest lessons—patience, grace, love, and selflessness. Our time together challenged me to go beyond my surface-level understanding of these qualities. I learned that patience isn't just waiting for someone to meet your needs—it's understanding them and being willing to walk with them at their pace. Grace, both for her and for myself, was something I had to learn to give generously. Greenville made me see that love isn't self-serving; it's about being selfless, offering support, and being there even when it's difficult.

Each of these relationships was a transaction in the sense that I gave and received something of value. More importantly, they were chapters in a book I’m writing about the moral and intellectual crisis of our time.

I kid.

It feels like the purpose wasn't just about finding love again—it was about finding myself, understanding others, and realizing the richness that every relationship, no matter how temporary, can offer.

B.