Random Post About Not Having Anything To Post

RE:Post

Mr.TramueL’s Top Ten List of Things He Would Write About ‘Cause They’ve Been Sitting in His Drafts Folder For a Year.

I know that’s an extremely long title for a list … anywho

10. My Fascination With My Teeth After Every Dental Visit. I’d write about this except for you all already receive the spammed texts, Emails, tweets & links to “How to whiten your teeth for free”

9.  Happy Valentines Day! I would write about this one except for funds were low this year (as they were last year)  & I didn’t feel like haggling with the authorized resellers of baskets along the side of the road. The snow didn’t even stop these guys this year!

8. The Realest (Insert Explicative) I Ever Wrote. I’d write about this except I want to do a VBlog {The Reason I keep playing with Youtube Video’s & Editing them} … except then it wouldn’t be “The Realest (insert Explicative) I Ever Wrote” … it would be “The Realest (Insert Explicative) I Ever Recorded and that doesn’t sound as sexy.

7. Eff a Quote, Tell Me What You Know. I hate when people (RE)Tweet, Update their status or e-mail me intuitively obvious quotes from famous people. “If you put on your shoes in the morning without putting on your socks first then today you will be without socks.” –Anonymous … I’d write about his but it must be true ‘cause Rev Run Wisdom wrote it.

6. Social Media Beef. My Ex-Wife, Baby-Mama mother of my child proceeds to tell all of her Facebook friends that I was an absentee father because of something that happened between her & my son {What did I have to do with it? … Nothing.} She is Bi-Polar mistaken, we were all together days before that on a road trip home to VA, days before that she called ‘cause she broke a nail & couldn’t drive him to get a haircut for ROTC. Yeah I would write about that except for they won’t find her until the leaves blow away ‘cause I’m not raking til’ Spring.

5. The Disconnect. I’d write about this but I would need years of research and it’s already been proven that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Have you ever worked with, dated, met, held a conversation with someone where you’ve just looked at them and said … well, nothing? I’ve learned that there are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

4. What I Wanna be When I Grow Up. I’d write about this except I don’t wanna grow up. Be more childlike and less childish.

3. Little Known Mr.TramueL Facts. You all know why I can’t write about this … it’s all relative and according to the general theory of relativity t!his  would cause a Black Hole. {Science}

2. I’m the Best You’ll Ever Have. I’d write about this ‘cause every woman I’ve ever dated be on that same ole’ bullshyt  “They are the best I’ve ever had” & that I’ll wish that I’d stayed with them & eventually at some point I’ll want them back but it will be too late. Out of all of the random women I’ve smashed beautiful ladies I’ve dated it hasn’t happened yet. Note to Self: Mr.TramueL One. Beautiful ladies Zero.

And the Number 1ne Thing Mr.TramueL Would Write About ‘Cause They’ve Been Sitting in His Drafts Folder For a Year ………….

1. Women are Manipulators, Men are Controlling. I would write about this one except “she” said “If you don’t get off of that machine and come get on t!his …” but I chastised her for not using the or-else clause.

Ten & A Half Things That Kill A Conversation Quickly

996lg

10. Things I don’t know anything about. (Translation: Things I would write in my “Things I give an Eff about notebook”) ☛ Them: “You going to the concert?” Me: “Oh! Who’s coming?” Them “Justin Beiber.”  Me:

9. Bad Breath ☛ This is self-explanatory … you could stay and chat but you’re a man talking to another man, also it would be rude to throw-up in some(1)ne’s face.

8. A chatting chatty azz man ☛ I’m a man … “Ladies look at your man, now back at me, look at your man again, now back at me …” men get in and get out of conversations. If a dude lingers too long in the “I’ma boy” zone when he’s talking to another man. Look for me to start riding a horse backwards.

7. Repetition ☛ Every time I see you, you tell me the same thing. Go fall off a cliff so you’ll have some new stuff to talk about.

6. A long azz, on again off again engagement ☛ Face it “He’s just not that into you” and you’re never gonna get the deposit money back. Me: “Oh Ya’ll pushed it back until the Spring (again?) … well keep me posted! Listen, I have to go, gotta take Rocky to the Vet.” Her: “You don’t have a dog.” Me: 0_O

5. Conversations about Socialism ☛ Maybe I should listen … I mean with all your experience working the Frosty machine at Wendy’s. Unless you are a professor of History, Cultural Anthropology or Economics stop trying to kick knowledge son & go kick rocks.

4. Stop talking to me about the iPhone, iPad, iCar, iBoat ☛ *Deep Breath. Shots Fired. #pow #pow #pow* I don’t understand how I can admire a company soo much but hate them too. I won’t end the conversation, I’ll just provide tips on new apps that you should consider. Them: “I’m thirsty.” Me: “What? Your iPhone can’t turn the air into cool refreshing water? … There’s no app for that?”

3. Long Windedness ☛ Lil’ MrTramueL’s mother takes forever just to tell me that he needs some allergy medicine. Ms.Frenchie: “You remember the house where I grew up right? Me: “Yep. You’ve told me about it a  million times … can you make the long story short? You know how you do.” Ms.Frenchie: “Oh. Okay … Well, we used to have a window in my old bedroom, and my mama would leave it up at night so that ….” Me: “Places phone on mute. Walks away.”

2. People with American names who talk /sound funny on the phone ☛ Don’t ya’ll dare judge me! You know what I’m talking about … you call Apple support and Bob answers  but he sounds more like Madhav Kumar. *Dial Tone*

1. Carrying on side conversations ☛ Step away without a salutation or well wish and you get the dial tone. Your lil’ dyslexic child do that same stuff every time &  you feed into it! I’ma man, I’m only going to be a minute *Pause*  … tell lil’ Tommie to turn the book sideways and wait until you get off the phone.

0.5 (Number 3 Continues after 20 minutes) … *Comes back to phone* Ms.Frenchie:“ … the electrician had to install those three prong cords for the washing machine & the dryer …”

What drives you crazy on the phone? In person? At home … you get what I’m getting at! Answer the question!

Mr. “Give Up Conversation But Don’t Say Nothing” TramueL

*Disclaimer* Nothing wrong with working the frosty machine at Wendy’s. Somebody has to do it. Having an American name even though you have a thick azz accent. Lil’ Tommie really isn’t dyslexic, he’s special.