Life Changes - LDS

Life Changes - LDS

The Great Pretender

I’ll never be enough, I’m worried, I’m infertile, I’m my own worst enemy, I’m scared everyone will know. These have been my morning mantras since I was diagnosed with an endocrine disorder 21 years ago that doctors had little to no research on. My prognosis, or at least how I heard it, you’ll never be good enough to fit the norms of society and enjoy the depression, anxiety, and infertility that come along with this diagnosis, amongst other health ailments that are other fun side effects.

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Falling Star

Sunday night I watched my social media streams fill with commentary about all things entertainment; Game of Thrones to Beyoncé to the NBA. As fans, stans, and critics; we discuss things for ‘investigation’ and gossip, both understanding and insulting. No matter your point of view, there is always that friend or follower who believes they have a personal connection with a celebrity and will stan until the end of time.

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A Humble Spirit

Feed-your-soul

"Strategic success is dealing with the real enemy of your purpose the soul (mind, will, intellect and emotions). Just as the strings of an instrument respond to the touch of human fingers so does your body respond to the impressions of your soul. Yes, it really does matter what you feed your soul. A humble spirit wants to change but you will only see results when one desires to change."

- A Facebook Status Update Via T. Brown

I Just Wanna Be, I Just Wanna Be Successful

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So I have someone that has challenged me to question some of my claiming attitudes and Mr.TramueL’s observation is to beware of laying on expectations ‘cause self-fulfilling prophecies do come true. When I think something is witty & funny I’ll hold unto it for(E)ver and one of my most favoritest things to say or write is that “I subconsciously sabotage relationships around the fifth year …” now that started after my divorce, I don’t know my exact divorcessary date but it has been more than 8 years. People laugh or say “boy you soo crazy” when they hear it, but in a recent conversation that centered around self-esteem, respect & acceptance I asked the question; I said “Self. Why do you say such a thing?” Myself said “I’ont really know. Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.” I said “Alright. Remember that I am always here if you need to talk or anything.”

This is what myself concluded. I don’t feel that I’m complete, there are things that I haven’t accomplished, dreams deferred. Consciously I want to do well and be successful, however the expectation is that others will see me as a disappointment. My inner critic is a nasty som beatch! Now ya’ll know I love me some me but it’s caused me to be on some ole’ compulsive need for self-approval type sh*t which makes me defensive, self-centered & stubborn so by that fifth year “she” probably wouldn't be able to put up with me anyway. I steal, I don’t get stole right? (Rhetorical)

Ms. Miz has a wonderful message about discovering who you are and your worth. Know your Worth T!his was right on time for me today. Along with my award winning conversation with MB (You’re both appreciated.)

How do you define success? What makes someone successful?

Live Well,

Mr. “I’m not a player, I just crush a lot” TramueL