Never Trust A BIG Butt & A Smile

Conversation(s) at work range from politics, religion, relationship(s), music & of course sex. Men brag about their storied histories, while women keep their freaky a little sneaky. My “love” would be proud of itself it were a thing that breathed air & drank water. I deferred from the macho bravado, sexual connotations & innuendos leaving those to the imagination “mental pictures, no cameras please.” Simply smiling as others told stories of their sexcapades.

I personally believe in quality over quantity and as these discussion(s) play out, on average most were above average concerning the number of partners they’ve had. I’ll take them at their word but my experience has been a little different.

***Disclaimer***

The following account, for all intensive purposes is for your entertainment pleasure only. Any likeness to you or your representative is purely coincidental. I have omitted a few hundred of the random women I’ve smashed beautiful ladies from my past as I only want to high-light significant milestones on my Love Time-Line.

Mr.TramueL’s “Love Time-Line” set to MusiQ Titles & Lyrics

“You & Me”

I never thought on the first night You would bare what you hold so dear to life And share with me all your innermost fantasies baby And afterwards in my arms you cried Had me feeling some kind of way on the inside Then I knew it was going to be me and you

My first experience was just that, thought we would be together forever. That innermost fantasy involved a chandelier, measuring tape, my naked member & paper napkin.

"Just Friends"

Girl I know this might seem strange But let me know if I'm out of order For stepping to you this way See I've been watching you for a while And I just gotta let you know That I'm really feeling your style Cause I have to know your name And leave you with my number And I hope that you would call me someday If you want you can give me yours too And if you don't I ain't mad at'cha We can still be cool cause

My second “love” was with the most beautiful girl in the world, but I only wanted to give her the bizness. She thought we were more. I mean who wouldn’t after a year of laying horizontal doing the humpty, humpt. I coined the phrase “friends with benefits.”

“BabyMother”

Listen you know people are you know they gonna talk shit So be prepared cause we doing this regardless Of what my mother say or what your father say We just gotta make sure we on the same page Cause this is ours it involves nobody else don't get me wrong we always use a little help But honestly all we got is each other And the fact is im the father and you're the mother Of this kid

Next up was the longest five years of my life & when we were at the end ... famous last words “Can we do it one last time?” Next thing I know I woke up cutting the umbilical cord.

"Seventeen"

I tried to cut her off But she wasn't having it She kept telling me her age didn't mean sh-- And that's when she started to cry Baby I need you in my life And without you I just couldn't handle it So what's a brother to do (Ohh) Either way I lose (So) I could just say my piece Or piss off her peeps And talk it out with the boys in blue Cause when it comes down to it (Ohh) She was just seventeen years old And I was dead wrong from the door (Ohh)

So yeah I met  “Seventeen” somewhere in between “just friends” & “babymother” but refused her advances because she was too young, I inserted into her here because I hit it, shoot she was eighteen now, five foot seven with light-brown eyes, body built like a woman over twenty-five … Judge me, she also becomes the future Mrs.Tramuel (Notice she doesn’t get the trademarked capital L) Famous Quotes “Mr.TramueL! you fuck*ing with jail bait!” – Seventeen’s Stepdad

"Makeyouhappy" Oh, Hey, girl. Help me know, What is it that really does it for you? Is it about the things that money buys Or a man that loves you? Cause I'm just looking at how good you look And right away I wanna. So how do you want it?

Post divorce. I was free from responsibility & wanted to “love” every woman in the world. I joked about a five (Wo)man rotation. {Insert five names onto the “makeyouhappy” time stamp}

"Betterman"

I got a real good woman now Someone between a lover and a friend It feels good when she's around Cause she's so far from all the others that I've been with

Cause I thought I knew what love was but it wasn't until she came and changed my life And now I realize that

All the love in this world, I wanna give to this girl because she makes me wanna be a better man And all the games I've played are in the pass Because I know this one's gonna last It's crazy how she makes me wanna be a better man for her

I’ll end here because I am a better man, a better man because of what the experiences of my Love Time-Line have taught me. Sexual pursuits uncover the good & bad intertwined in our heart, revealing selfishness or the honorable desires to be loving.

Choose VS Decide … be better

Harm None,

Mr.TramueL may not be right for everyone, please consult your doctor to see if he is right for you.

Smooth Criminal

Water cooler talk:  The Weather, The Weekend, Father’s Day, Beautiful Women, Children, The Lottery …

Them: “Money can’t make you happy”

Me: “I just want the chance to prove that theory wrong.” I’m just playing, unless I win.

The conversation progresses past my need to be witty, I was trying to hide the fact that I haven’t acquired a taste for this person.

Them: “What would you do with all of that money?”

Me: “Educate myself, travel, take care of my family & do God’s work.”

Deep bows, I’m sorry but I wanted to pull them in. The reason I may have not acquired a taste for this person is because of a recent conversation about “safety” “hood terms” “myths” & “stereotypes.”

*1…2…3…Break* I’m fitna’ {ATL shawty!} get in trouble because I’ve been labeled as “aggressive” {not their word but the best way to describe it} by someone I “Four Letter Word Beginning In L and Ending In E” this is someone who’s approval I desperately seek but seem to vex with some of my observations.

*Blue 21, Blue 21, Hut, Hut, Hut* I’m not an activist, but I am aware of my environment and the effect that it has on me, you, us. Today I coin the phrase “Observationalist” – To make aware and influence by the thoughts and ideas based on social, economic and cultural background. Now … Hip somebody else.

Of Safety, Hood Terms, Myths & Stereotypes

In an effort to not be “that guy” the person with whom I haven’t acquired a taste for tried to assimilate and associate with the masses by speaking negatively of & on what folk perceive as poor neighborhoods. Having lived in most of the neighborhoods in question I felt it was only right to be “that guy” and educate. “They either don’t show, don’t know or don’t care about what’s going on in the hood.”

“Those neighborhoods” … yeah they care about property values too. Yeah they care about their community too, yeah they care about empowerment too, yeah they care about opportunities for youth too. *Fast Forward one of their comments was about criminals, criminal activity, to which I sarcastically responded crime effects everyone and no community is immune from it, but I digress … the point in one of my teaching moments was that folk return from jail and are treated unfairly, we take away their right to vote, deny them housing and discriminate against them with regards to employment.

The wrap up: (1) What I would do with the money? Work with the city, county, Sherriff’s department to break the cycle for offenders. Develop youth programs, mentoring programs and scholarships. They gotta eat or they might hit someone over the head. God’s work? (2) Interestingly enough I told the person with whom I haven’t acquired a tatse for that they were criminals, we are all criminals, we have never gotten caught. What if you got caught smoking that ooooo weeee! you serve your time, get released but you couldn’t rent an apartment, you weren't able to vote, and you lost your dream job working the frosty machine at Wendy’s?

Man this is long! I’m freestyling ‘cause I’m at work.

Translation: 8 Weeks of training.

Translation: Google Reader ‘cause they block me from tweet’n and you know how much I love Twitter! Shout out Ms.Nikks! Shout out Buzz Can Tweet!

Oddly enough look what I found a day after the mis-education of someone I haven’t acquired a taste for "I'm a criminal and so are you"

Live Well,

Mr. "That Guy" TramueL