Insane In the Membrane

Insane In the Membrane

What Do You Do To Protect Yourself From Pain?

I protect myself with a complicated set of traps & defense mechanisms.

I received a lot of private feedback on this sentence from my post,

"I could be a great boyfriend, partner, or husband except… I do NOT want to do the work."

Mostly you need to heal, you're hurt, and you need time feedback.

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In To Me See

1991

When I moved to Atlanta I became quickly enamored with the amount of melanin in the metro area. One of my favorite things to do involved people watching in Underground. One day while taking in the sights, sounds and smells a young woman approached me from the stairs of the Dollar Store. She stopped and chatted’ me up. Most of you know from previous post that I have no idea when a woman is hitting on me.

She gassed me from the start...

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Four Letter Words Beginning With L ...

The Week of Loss, Life, Lust & Love

Of Loss

I’m not an empath but this week has proven that we all are on some level, for most of us it is so low key that we aren’t aware of anyone else's feelings but our own. I’ve had friends lose their mother, a very special friend who’s mother had a heart attack and a close friend whose dearest friend suffered a stroke. Although I did not know any of them personally, in the moment you first hear, the initial shock leaves you stunned, numb to the huge surge of feelings. I never know how to respond, the most common phrases are void of sincerity to me. So here are my words. Sorrow serves as a reminder of the brevity of life.

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A Four Letter Word Beginning With L and Ending With E

A Four Letter Word Beginning With L and Ending With E

I’ve shared physical space with a woman whom I was not romantically involved.  I was divorced and my support obligation ruled everything around me, c.r.e.a.m. get the money, I wrestled with the decision to struggle it out on my own but the perfect opportunity presented itself. A stereotypical, nit-picky, exacting, "clean freak", I’d met a female version of myself. She wanted to get ahead, I wanted to break even.

 

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Never Trust A BIG Butt & A Smile

my-butt-is-big1

Conversation(s) at work range from politics, religion, relationship(s), music & of course sex. Men brag about their storied histories, while women keep their freaky a little sneaky. My “love” would be proud of itself it were a thing that breathed air & drank water. I deferred from the macho bravado, sexual connotations & innuendos leaving those to the imagination “mental pictures, no cameras please.” Simply smiling as others told stories of their sexcapades.

I personally believe in quality over quantity and as these discussion(s) play out, on average most were above average concerning the number of partners they’ve had. I’ll take them at their word but my experience has been a little different.

***Disclaimer***

The following account, for all intensive purposes is for your entertainment pleasure only. Any likeness to you or your representative is purely coincidental. I have omitted a few hundred of the random women I’ve smashed beautiful ladies from my past as I only want to high-light significant milestones on my Love Time-Line.

Mr.TramueL’s “Love Time-Line” set to MusiQ Titles & Lyrics

“You & Me”

I never thought on the first night You would bare what you hold so dear to life And share with me all your innermost fantasies baby And afterwards in my arms you cried Had me feeling some kind of way on the inside Then I knew it was going to be me and you

My first experience was just that, thought we would be together forever. That innermost fantasy involved a chandelier, measuring tape, my naked member & paper napkin.

"Just Friends"

Girl I know this might seem strange But let me know if I'm out of order For stepping to you this way See I've been watching you for a while And I just gotta let you know That I'm really feeling your style Cause I have to know your name And leave you with my number And I hope that you would call me someday If you want you can give me yours too And if you don't I ain't mad at'cha We can still be cool cause

My second “love” was with the most beautiful girl in the world, but I only wanted to give her the bizness. She thought we were more. I mean who wouldn’t after a year of laying horizontal doing the humpty, humpt. I coined the phrase “friends with benefits.”

“BabyMother”

Listen you know people are you know they gonna talk shit So be prepared cause we doing this regardless Of what my mother say or what your father say We just gotta make sure we on the same page Cause this is ours it involves nobody else don't get me wrong we always use a little help But honestly all we got is each other And the fact is im the father and you're the mother Of this kid

Next up was the longest five years of my life & when we were at the end ... famous last words “Can we do it one last time?” Next thing I know I woke up cutting the umbilical cord.

"Seventeen"

I tried to cut her off But she wasn't having it She kept telling me her age didn't mean sh-- And that's when she started to cry Baby I need you in my life And without you I just couldn't handle it So what's a brother to do (Ohh) Either way I lose (So) I could just say my piece Or piss off her peeps And talk it out with the boys in blue Cause when it comes down to it (Ohh) She was just seventeen years old And I was dead wrong from the door (Ohh)

So yeah I met  “Seventeen” somewhere in between “just friends” & “babymother” but refused her advances because she was too young, I inserted into her here because I hit it, shoot she was eighteen now, five foot seven with light-brown eyes, body built like a woman over twenty-five … Judge me, she also becomes the future Mrs.Tramuel (Notice she doesn’t get the trademarked capital L) Famous Quotes “Mr.TramueL! you fuck*ing with jail bait!” – Seventeen’s Stepdad

"Makeyouhappy" Oh, Hey, girl. Help me know, What is it that really does it for you? Is it about the things that money buys Or a man that loves you? Cause I'm just looking at how good you look And right away I wanna. So how do you want it?

Post divorce. I was free from responsibility & wanted to “love” every woman in the world. I joked about a five (Wo)man rotation. {Insert five names onto the “makeyouhappy” time stamp}

"Betterman"

I got a real good woman now Someone between a lover and a friend It feels good when she's around Cause she's so far from all the others that I've been with

Cause I thought I knew what love was but it wasn't until she came and changed my life And now I realize that

All the love in this world, I wanna give to this girl because she makes me wanna be a better man And all the games I've played are in the pass Because I know this one's gonna last It's crazy how she makes me wanna be a better man for her

I’ll end here because I am a better man, a better man because of what the experiences of my Love Time-Line have taught me. Sexual pursuits uncover the good & bad intertwined in our heart, revealing selfishness or the honorable desires to be loving.

Choose VS Decide … be better

Harm None,

Mr.TramueL may not be right for everyone, please consult your doctor to see if he is right for you.