At times I Am an avid listener; I have family, friends and co-workers who call me to complain, often daily, but they are not seeking advice. (Even when they are fortunate enough to have a problem with a clear solution, they will ignore it and continue to complain.) At those times, I realize that they only seek to vent,. they are not seeking a solution nor would they implement one if it presented itself. It also sharpens my listening skills as I become a detached observer, allowing them the space to talk it out. Although, sharpening them is not something I Am looking to improve.
While sitting in the comfort of home, Brian notices and is often bothered by noises other people do not seem bothered by i.e., dogs barking, car horns, fans, people talking, and outdoor construction. Last weekend a neighbor celebrated all weekend. My thoughts centered on the family (& friends) closeness, nothing but love. The kids were playing, people were eating and dancing. They even setup outdoor activities (volleyball, water slide…) but all Brian processed was the amount of cars coming and going, how long they were outside and that they were doing it again, today.
Love and other outdoor sports.
In his defense, he (like his dad) has sensory processing issues. We all have different thinking styles, our own unique way of constructing reality I suppose. I encourage him to try and not sweat the small stuff.
There are two extremes; ambition and criticism.
Folks seek to advance and request (or expect) constructive feedback, however when you’re sensitive to criticism from others, you blame them for your reactions (or blame yourself for being inadequate). This manifests itself into complaining; complaints about what someone else did or didn’t do or complaints about someone not helping you but never taking responsibility or holding themselves accountable.
Most of us are interested in generating thought processes that lead to creativity, productivity, pleasure, or relaxation. & there are others with no genuine responsibilities other than bathing, clothing and feeding themselves that seem to be the most concerned with the lives of others. They are quick to criticize the lack of ambition, work ethic or knowledge of others & because criticism requires dialogue, direct or indirect, the intention is that others should be aware of it, however that may occur.
Don’t except everything at face value and don’t look for diabolical motives in everything, not everyone is going to help you, also they are not out to destroy you.