No Shade

shade_tree_on_the_beach_4069 Literally

I attended a beautiful wedding on Sunday July 4th, 2010 at Bernard's Landing over looking Smith Mountain Lake. The set up was beautiful; imagine a clear field of rolling, green grass, your eyes stop just where the grass meets the sand and right before the cool inviting water. Rows of white chairs in the foreground each with their own very unique guest. A small alter provided sensible elegance. The temperature stayed around 97 degrees and the skies were clear. Did you read that? I wrote 97 degrees, open field, sun bearing down on us. No Shade.


The wedding was for a couple with whom I attended high-school, I wasn’t invited directly but went as a “plus one” for a friend that needed an arm piece *I clean up real nice* The majority of the guest in attendance were former classmates that I haven’t seen in years. Years. There were folk representing four years up and four years down from my graduating class. It has been my experience over the years that when I run into folk from school they seem to hold onto claiming attitudes and memories of yesteryear “Play Acting” … Sunday was rather proud of itself, it recognized that a smug attitude antagonizes those around you.

No Shade.

The conversations were light-hearted and genuine. Ego’s were dropped, expectations were dropped, everyone was relaxed and allowed things to happen. Great food, great atmosphere, great music, great drink … Great time. Congratulations to the happy couple! and thank you for allowing me to share in the celebration of your love and commitment.

Magic Always,

LOVE is a serious mental disease - Plato

Mr. “I'm okay with being Mental” TramueL

Smooth Criminal

Water cooler talk:  The Weather, The Weekend, Father’s Day, Beautiful Women, Children, The Lottery …

Them: “Money can’t make you happy”

Me: “I just want the chance to prove that theory wrong.” I’m just playing, unless I win.

The conversation progresses past my need to be witty, I was trying to hide the fact that I haven’t acquired a taste for this person.

Them: “What would you do with all of that money?”

Me: “Educate myself, travel, take care of my family & do God’s work.”

Deep bows, I’m sorry but I wanted to pull them in. The reason I may have not acquired a taste for this person is because of a recent conversation about “safety” “hood terms” “myths” & “stereotypes.”

*1…2…3…Break* I’m fitna’ {ATL shawty!} get in trouble because I’ve been labeled as “aggressive” {not their word but the best way to describe it} by someone I “Four Letter Word Beginning In L and Ending In E” this is someone who’s approval I desperately seek but seem to vex with some of my observations.

*Blue 21, Blue 21, Hut, Hut, Hut* I’m not an activist, but I am aware of my environment and the effect that it has on me, you, us. Today I coin the phrase “Observationalist” – To make aware and influence by the thoughts and ideas based on social, economic and cultural background. Now … Hip somebody else.

Of Safety, Hood Terms, Myths & Stereotypes

In an effort to not be “that guy” the person with whom I haven’t acquired a taste for tried to assimilate and associate with the masses by speaking negatively of & on what folk perceive as poor neighborhoods. Having lived in most of the neighborhoods in question I felt it was only right to be “that guy” and educate. “They either don’t show, don’t know or don’t care about what’s going on in the hood.”

“Those neighborhoods” … yeah they care about property values too. Yeah they care about their community too, yeah they care about empowerment too, yeah they care about opportunities for youth too. *Fast Forward one of their comments was about criminals, criminal activity, to which I sarcastically responded crime effects everyone and no community is immune from it, but I digress … the point in one of my teaching moments was that folk return from jail and are treated unfairly, we take away their right to vote, deny them housing and discriminate against them with regards to employment.

The wrap up: (1) What I would do with the money? Work with the city, county, Sherriff’s department to break the cycle for offenders. Develop youth programs, mentoring programs and scholarships. They gotta eat or they might hit someone over the head. God’s work? (2) Interestingly enough I told the person with whom I haven’t acquired a tatse for that they were criminals, we are all criminals, we have never gotten caught. What if you got caught smoking that ooooo weeee! you serve your time, get released but you couldn’t rent an apartment, you weren't able to vote, and you lost your dream job working the frosty machine at Wendy’s?

Man this is long! I’m freestyling ‘cause I’m at work.

Translation: 8 Weeks of training.

Translation: Google Reader ‘cause they block me from tweet’n and you know how much I love Twitter! Shout out Ms.Nikks! Shout out Buzz Can Tweet!

Oddly enough look what I found a day after the mis-education of someone I haven’t acquired a taste for "I'm a criminal and so are you"

Live Well,

Mr. "That Guy" TramueL

I Just Wanna Be, I Just Wanna Be Successful

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So I have someone that has challenged me to question some of my claiming attitudes and Mr.TramueL’s observation is to beware of laying on expectations ‘cause self-fulfilling prophecies do come true. When I think something is witty & funny I’ll hold unto it for(E)ver and one of my most favoritest things to say or write is that “I subconsciously sabotage relationships around the fifth year …” now that started after my divorce, I don’t know my exact divorcessary date but it has been more than 8 years. People laugh or say “boy you soo crazy” when they hear it, but in a recent conversation that centered around self-esteem, respect & acceptance I asked the question; I said “Self. Why do you say such a thing?” Myself said “I’ont really know. Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.” I said “Alright. Remember that I am always here if you need to talk or anything.”

This is what myself concluded. I don’t feel that I’m complete, there are things that I haven’t accomplished, dreams deferred. Consciously I want to do well and be successful, however the expectation is that others will see me as a disappointment. My inner critic is a nasty som beatch! Now ya’ll know I love me some me but it’s caused me to be on some ole’ compulsive need for self-approval type sh*t which makes me defensive, self-centered & stubborn so by that fifth year “she” probably wouldn't be able to put up with me anyway. I steal, I don’t get stole right? (Rhetorical)

Ms. Miz has a wonderful message about discovering who you are and your worth. Know your Worth T!his was right on time for me today. Along with my award winning conversation with MB (You’re both appreciated.)

How do you define success? What makes someone successful?

Live Well,

Mr. “I’m not a player, I just crush a lot” TramueL