Throwback Thursday

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Throwback Thursday

November 2007.

Scene: Business luncheon for social purposes.

I was dining with my direct manager, our portfolio manager and a team of portfolio managers from servicing. Our team managed commercial loans before they were packaged into securitization. Portfolio managers from servicing managed pools of loans after they are securitized. This is relative.

Not so random observation: The restaurant was located in the Gateway Village which has been a problematic location for restaurants. I’m witness to three great concepts unable to maintain.

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Fine Tuned Sensibilities

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Fine Tuned Sensibilities

Today I exchanged emails with an ex, it was standard operating procedure; How are you doing? How are your people? We both have sons that graduated high school recently, so how each of them chose to navigate their way into adulthood was the theme of our discussion. Also, there was the subtle mention of “even the little one.” When we were together she adopted a dog so I assumed she was referencing him. I’m pretty quick-witted and quick with it, but it took me a few messages before I decided to ask how Rocky, the Bijan Frise was doing [that dog hated me, his favorite bone was in my leg] to which she replied I gave him away, he was getting out of pocket.

Pause.

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Thoughts (We've Got)

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Thoughts (We've Got)

The Low End Theory 

Without fail every woman in each relationship sector; family, friendship, vocation and a four letter word beginning with L and ending with E require the blinds to be open upon awakening. 

I believe I'm alive, functioning and able to maintain strictly from the prayers of my mother, sister(s) and The Future. "I have the desire to do what is good, but I can not carry it out." Romans 7:18

I've unsuccessfully attempted to honor my male body. Never have I stated "this time will be different" however I have and it has. Learning from my failures I've cut out high-fat foods, I've begun to eat more broiled and baked chicken, turkey and fish, fresh vegetables, fruits and nuts and I've completely cut out sugar. No more #SweetLife. One of my goals for 2014 was to get everyone in the house on board, it has been mildly successful [others won't give up the sugar completely] and contagious. Family and friends have committed to healthier living.

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Monday Musings... or What's on My Mind Right Now.

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Borrowed theme from author Diane Dorce's blog Miz's Write For Life 

No matter my activity level in these social or real streets there is one constant anytime I return;  singilism, a term coined by expert Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. that refers to the stereotyping and stigmatizing of people who are single. The conversations are one-sided, being single from a male perspective is missing or I follow and know too many single women. 

Just prepped a few pieces of Salmon. I will pan sear and bake them for myself, (Michelle will make Salmon croquets for herself, Geneva & Brian for dinner) I'm in a no fry zone.  I prepared breakfast for the family; bacon & eggs nothing significant, nothing I haven't done a million times. Maestro at my feet, begging for scraps. Brian on the couch playing Xbox. Michelle and Geneva still in bed. For all that I do I never get acknowledge for it. "Thank you mom, breakfast was delicious." Even the dog, after throwing him a few scraps worships Michelle.

Nothing but bad news for a few members of my extended family, close friends and co-workers this past week. Often I pray for others more than I pray for myself. I'm not afraid of bad things happening. I’m afraid of good things not happening.

I've seen a couple of events play out in the media and on twitter, I caution folks not to give into "Positive Image Mentality"; a phrase coined by Nelson George that suggests that the crux [among other things] of Black upward mobility is the concept that we must reject any and all information that highlights the flaws of African-American lifestyles & nuances, whether they are blatant truths or stereotypes.

Women be shopping & talking. 

I've learned that there are things you shouldn't have to apologize for. Things I won't apologize for ... saying no, my introversion [desiring alone time to think, read, pray, sleep or whatever], not feeling well.

I Am. 

Needs Vs. Wants

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Needs Vs. Wants

When I think of needs I think of basic necessities; shelter, food, health care, clothing and transportation. When I think of wants I think of ‘things’ or activities that increase our quality of life. We are advised to wait 30 days before purchasing an item; somehow we’ll likely realize how little we really desired it && the opposite, being advised to live life to the fullest; that we work hard and that we should play harder.

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Random Observation #2,915

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I have friends, co-workers and family members who always offer their opinion or love to make the conversation about them. What I haven't figured out is if this is simply their communication style or if it really should always be about them. I recently had surgery and wanted to keep folks informed, what I received from some were personal stories of failure and what I would do's if I were you's. Unlike the Compassion of Others. 

I'm pretty good about self-solving [TramueL's Law: A theory is better than its explanation] but I'm also not afraid to ask for help when needed. My be you [tiful] mind broke it down so it is forever and consistently broke.  

In communicating; verbally or electronically I will follow TramueL's Law: 

Self-reference. I will regularly use "to-me" language. My views, value judgements, beliefs, assumptions and conclusions are my own.  Just like everyone else. 

Non-aggression. I will refrain from personal attacks on living souls who disagree with me; no calling out their name, talking about their mama, sarcasm, covert tweets or shade. 

Providing advice. I will provide advice only if solicited. One of the keys to giving advice is knowing when a person actually wants it. I have a girl that is a friend that calls or texts to complain [sometimes daily] but she does not want advice. Even when there is a problem with a clear solution, she will ignore it and continue to complain. At those times, I realize that she only seeks to vent and get the thoughts out of her head. No solution is being sought nor will she implement one in the future. 


"When I think about forever, I get upset,"

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“Like the Land O’ Lakes butter has the Indian girl sitting holding a box and a picture of her on it holding a box, with a picture of her on it holding a box, with a picture of her on it holding a box. You ever notice that?”
— Sally Draper

Reading is FUNdamental

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Brian's bookshelf: Read in 2013

Reign of Error: The Hoax of the Privatization Movement and the Danger to America's Public Schools
Freeman
Harlem Redux
Modern Buddhism: The Path of Compassion and Wisdom - Volume 1 Sutra
Black Is the New Green: Marketing to Affluent African Americans
Buck: A Memoir
Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth
RENDEZVOUS WITH RETIREMENT: A Guide to Getting Fiscally Fit
To Repel Ghosts: The Remix
Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Black Athlete
It's Bigger Than Hip Hop: The Rise of the Post-Hip-Hop Generation
The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America
Our Man in the Dark
Divided Soul: The Life Of Marvin Gaye
Mo' Meta Blues: The World According to Questlove
I, Dred Scott: A Fictional Slave Narrative Based on the Life and Legal Precedent of Dred Scott
The Anthology of Rap
Makeda
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Dramas of a Bald Head Queen


Brian TramueL's favorite books »

Improve Relationships. Redemption.

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Improve Relationships. Redemption.

For Colored Boys is a dramatic web series written and directed by award winning filmmaker and content creator, Stacey Muhammad of Wildseed Films. Inspired by the highly acclaimed 1975 choreopoem "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf"  by Ntozake Shange, For Colored Boys is a series of short stories that follow the lives of seven African American men from various walks of life as they navigate and overcome challenges, face their fears, find their truth, mend broken relationships, find love, build families and inspire the lives of many.  

The first season of For Colored Boys, subtitled REDEMPTION, follows the life of Benjamin Boyd, Sr. who upon release from prison seeks to reunite his family by rekindling his relationship with wife, "Lisa" and reassuming his role as father to his teenage daughter, Sidney and 20 year old son, "E". A talented yet somewhat troubled young man, "E" has had to shoulder a tremendous amount of responsibility during his father's incarceration. Accustomed to assisting his mother with his 15-year-old sister, Sidney, he is pulled and persuaded by the temptations of his environment to make money and help provide for his family.

Returning home, Benjamin finds his son is no longer a boy, but a man unwilling to acknowledge or accept the presence of his father.  In order to mend a troubled and fragile relationship and rebuild his family, Benjamin must be careful not to overstep his bounds, yet still re-establish his presence as E's father.  Finding his place in a world he's been estranged from is more difficult task than he could have ever imaged and suffering from Post Incarceration Syndrome makes it seem nearly impossible.  

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Vibes & Stuff

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Vibes & Stuff

Julian Date 2456647.3125 there was an impromptu discussion about childhood memories with those whom I share cubicle space. Mostly everyone exchanged stories of teen defiance. Skipping school? Check. I did it the smooth way; I would call my mother and ask her to check me out. Skipping ain’t easy. Underage drinking? Nah, I didn’t have my first drink until I was twenty-one. Age ain’t nothing but a number, but watch out for the R. Among the group, the most common indiscretion was underage driving. Young souls taking the keys to the family whip all while their parents lay sleeping, hung-over or otherwise occupied. The infamous joy ride, I plead the fifth dimension bruh’ … at times my mother reads my post.

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Exercise in Observation

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Exercise in Observation

My social media streams are diverse; they include elements of everything that I love; music, food, photography, sports and reading [books and blogs]. There are very few antipathies, if I encounter anything I disagree with rather than debate, I remind myself that living souls have the right to believe who, what, when, where and why they want. Arguing is the least effective way of changing someone’s mind.

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