A Rarefied Gaze

Arrived early to work this am, the streets were blocked with crowds of living souls walking purposefully. I detoured, approached the west side of my building. Fire trucks, however no flames or smoke … a fire drill. I park and exit the miracle whip. As I’m heading inside I catch the gaze of a woman in red. Red; passion, energy and action has always been my favorite color. I was drawn to it and then to her face. I lower my head to look down at my cell [because of something important] so that she wouldn’t notice me noticing her noticing me. I raise my head and I see our reflections in the mirrored glass. Perfect. She wasn’t looking at me she was looking at her own self.

Brian TramueL

Random Observation #2,913

Random Observation #2,913

Envy. 

Most of us use it interchangeably with jealousy. I suppose this is because some are jealous and envious at the same time. However, their definitions differ when we consider envy as an emotion. I witness it frequently while working. Today a peer was pulled from our normal process and given a separate project. The shade as it was announced was epic. When someone lacks another person’s talents, skill or otherwise advantages and clearly wants them for themselves ...  witness eyes turn green. 

Read More

He Said, She Said ...

When you have been wounded it does not give you permission to hurt others. To be healed, you must name the hurt, aim the hurt sharing in a safe environment, and then tame it by embracing forgiveness.
— K. Jones

Lecture: Rakim (New York 2013)

Hip hop’s golden age began in 1986, the day Rakim stepped to a microphone to record “Eric B Is President.” Only 18 years old (though he sounded considerably more worldly), Rakim (real name William Griffin) had a smooth, effortless flow that brought a cool melodicism and high intelligence to the MC game—he gave both fire and ice, set within the wiry frame of his serious features. Even those who didn’t get the Five Percenter reference wouldn’t have bridled at his nickname, God. His partnership with his DJ, Eric B, yielded four great albums and numerous classic singles before Rakim split for a solo career. Despite initial success with 1997’s The 18th Letter, he endured several frustratingly fruitless years signed to Dr Dre’s Aftermath, working on an album that never came. Now Rakim back in his native New York, the city where his immense influence is most clearly audible, notably in other NYC wordsmiths such as Nas. As recently as 2012, The Source named him the greatest MC of all time.

Random Observation #2,912

September kicked off a two month celebration for my family; it has become a precursor to the holiday season. The kids are up next; Geneva's October 1st and Brian's October 2nd. Early Sunday I asked Brian if he wanted to go to Target, my plan to engage him in conversation about the bike he wants was met with excitement. I thought he figured me out, to my surprise his enthusiasm was about finding the perfect card for his sister. This guy even paid for it with his own money. I couldn't let him do that after such a loving gesture.

Compassion sets us apart from others.

Falling In Love With Love

Falling In Love With Love

Following my divorce I coined a phrase, The Future X Mrs. TramueL. I believed I would never remarry or if I did it would not last. In my heart I did not truly believe this but there was an underlying theme of unresolved negative emotions. Fooling myself came naturally, believing that someone else was to blame for my unhappiness.

Blame the head, not the heart.

Read More

A Four Letter Word Beginning With L and Ending With E

A Four Letter Word Beginning With L and Ending With E

I’ve shared physical space with a woman whom I was not romantically involved.  I was divorced and my support obligation ruled everything around me, c.r.e.a.m. get the money, I wrestled with the decision to struggle it out on my own but the perfect opportunity presented itself. A stereotypical, nit-picky, exacting, "clean freak", I’d met a female version of myself. She wanted to get ahead, I wanted to break even.

 

Read More

A Tale of Two Tips

A Tale of Two Tips

We arrived late in the evening, only after asking what time they closed did we realize we had 30 minutes to eat, drink and by merry. We were greeted with enthusiasm and energy as if the place just opened. After being seated the server did not rush, took his time explaining the specials for the night, however he did inform us that the kitchen would be closing soon, still we sampled beer and took our time before ordering. The food came out perfect; the serviced remained consistent throughout the night.

Read More

Falling Star

Sunday night I watched my social media streams fill with commentary about all things entertainment; Game of Thrones to Beyoncé to the NBA. As fans, stans, and critics; we discuss things for ‘investigation’ and gossip, both understanding and insulting. No matter your point of view, there is always that friend or follower who believes they have a personal connection with a celebrity and will stan until the end of time.

Read More