Facebook Five

All Black Everything, Facebook

Five people not needed on your friends list.

Supervisors

Called in well just to let them know how great you feel about not coming in? Nope, you called in sick but posted pictures of you and yours balling out at Applebee’s.

Co-workers

Not all, just the nosey ones with no life who tell your supervisor to check their newsfeed to see you eating all you can eat Riblets at Applebee’s.

Ex’s

Envious of you and your new boo, mad as hell because Applebee’s was their spot. They turned you on to the Riblets now the writing is on your wall. Literally.

Enemy

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? No. Don’t do that. Wondering who called and had your cable disconnected so you couldn’t post updates while watching Love and Hip Hop?

Anyone who communicates with any of the above

Connection crabbing. They can’t get to you so they attach themselves to mutual friends, thumbing every picture, status update, check-in and comment just to let you know they are there.

I Am