What Else Are Women For?

“The world still wants to ask that a woman primarily be pretty, and if she is not, the mob pouts and asks querulously, ’What else are women for?’”

Words W.E.B. Du Bois, word.

This incisive observation offers a sharp critique of how women are valued, a critique that remains painfully relevant. Women today continue to feel immense pressure to meet aesthetic standards, often resorting to expensive and time-consuming efforts: lash extensions, weaves, perfectly manicured nails, and even surgical enhancements like Botox, BBLs, and plastic surgery. These efforts are not inherently wrong, but they reveal the relentless expectation that a woman’s worth begins with her appearance. 

Yet, many women will assert that these choices are made for themselves—not to impress men or other women. There’s truth in this statement: the empowerment that comes from controlling how we look can feel liberating. Still, it’s worth examining how societal ideals subtly influence what feels like self-expression. Are these standards entirely personal, or have they been internalized over time through repeated messaging that links beauty to success, confidence, and even self-worth?

Don't answer... y'all know the rest.

The line between autonomy and external influence is often blurred, making the conversation about aesthetics far more complex than it first appears.

I’ve been reflecting on this through my relationships with a few women in my life—women I admire for their depth, humor, and individuality. Among them are platonic friends whose companionship enriches my life and others who, despite my having expressed my lack of romantic interest, continue to seek meaningful love and connection. 

For these women, the challenge isn’t simply about how society views them but how they view themselves in light of their longing for intimacy. They grapple with questions of self-worth and fulfillment, feeling the weight of unmet desires for partnership. It’s not about being incomplete without someone; it’s about wanting to share their lives with a person who truly sees them. Their frustration comes from doing everything they can to attract and sustain love but still feeling as though what they seek remains just out of reach.

What Du Bois highlights—and what resonates so clearly in their experiences—is that women are not for anything. They are not for satisfying societal expectations or anyone else’s desires. Yet, their longing for love is valid, not as a measure of their worth but as an expression of their humanity.

These women are beautiful—not just in appearance but in their persistence, their creativity, their humor, and their kindness. They are thinkers, creators, nurturers, and dreamers who deserve the love they seek. Their journeys are not failures; they are simply part of the complex and deeply personal paths we all walk in life.  

So what else are women for? They are for living authentically, for seeking the love they desire without shame, and for embracing their full humanity. Whether in friendship, romance, or solitude, their lives are their own to define—and that is more than enough.

Sometimes when I write, my focus is more on self-expression than on tailoring my words for an audience,

 O.B. TramueL