Destroy & Rebuild

Alright here we are … As many of you may know {because you care} I’ve seriously given consideration to deleting my Facebook account. Conversations directly & indirectly related to it’s destruction have caused me to have a discussion, albeit with myself, valid exploration.

I tried to ask myself why without offense but naturally I viewed this as an attack & had to defend my position.

Likes & {Dis}Likes in the same breath

I like the fact that social media presents an opportunity for personal & business relationships. I dislike the fact that social media presents an opportunity for personal & business relationships.

Of Likes

Twitter, Facebook, WordPress & the count(ed) number of networking tools that I use have my attention, but not because of some addiction {crack is whack} but because they provide value. I’m able to stay in contact with work friends as we move into different roles & drop a dime on em’ when they call out sick but update their status with “Having fun at the beach! bea(ot)ches!” It also enables discovery, I’ve found many interesting sites that challenge me & inspire my own creativity. I’ve also met very interesting people with whom I’ve been able to engage in mentally stimulating conversations & very silly & fun conversations.

Of {Dis}Likes

In trying to build a network I was guilty of friend hoarding {in the beginning} accepting every request from old classmate(s), every request from local promoter(s), every request for business page(s) There was no way for me to be engaged with so many. I’m pretty introverted & never really post to Facebook that often, however the apps I use provide constant access to my time line so I’m able to see what others are posting … I’ll just say I’d rather be a good “friend” to a few than dis-connected from so many.

Save Deletion | Destroy & Rebuild

Destroy: Transitive and intransitive verb to ruin something or make something useless.

Rebuild: ¹To work to restore something that has been weakened, damaged or ruined ²To make major alterations or improvements to something.

My plan is to destroy & rebuild … this is how I will continue to use Social Media & Facebook:

To have fun, To “Hip” others - make aware of and influence by the thoughts and ideas based on social, economic and cultural background, For Empowerment, To share news & post information for events, To meet other folk with brains, {I is intelligent too} … Hopefully this will spark a thought, a thought will spark a conversation, a conversation will spark a debate, a debate will spark some fun. Slingshot engaged.

Harm None,

Mr.TramueL is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.

I Love You VS I'm In Love With You

Mr.TramueL’s' Law of Contrariness: Searching for a four letter word beginning with L and E, we all desire one who makes us want to be a better person. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.

The voices in my head wanted to know why I didn’t tell my friends that are girls that I love them. “Quare don't vos dico vestri amicitia ut vos diligo lemma? Vita est quoque brevis quod est non pollicitus.” … Oh! My voices speak Latin.

The voices read The CG Chronicles post this morning on exclusivity and sparked a thought. We {meaning the voices and I} have more women than men as friends & I’ve had to explain, reassure and damn near plead the fifth dimension to any “she” in my life that my friends that are girls are totally platonic. The BIGgest take-away from @CurvyGurl was that my platonic friends that are girls have provided me {at times} a more fulfilling connection than my significant other.

I remember some great observations from @sunnydelyte21 post "Love VS Being In Love: Differences" … but what say you?

Mr.”Two post in one week? I’m engulfed in flames” TramueL

*Drops Mic. Pours Accelerant on stage as I George Jefferson walk off. Bows head. Lights Lighter. Pitches lighter over right shoulder. Stage erupts in Flames.* … That’s for you Roschelle!

The Week of The Observer

WhatAreYouLQQkingAt

I’ve been extremely busy working full time, part time and trying to establish TramueL Consulting {Controlled Emotional Response}  add the stress & shade from starting a new job {the full time position} but that’s not the point. All of that to say sorry I haven’t been commenting & providing my intelligently hedonistic thoughts all up on your page. I’ve even neglected my standard bi-weekly post.

 … any who I felt compelled to share my observations because I’ve been receiving the same message delivered in different formats. I guess that means I should share …

Twitter

Tweet

*Shout out to @Scrumptious1 if she ever reads this

Personal Conversation

{Paraphrased}

“I’m not looking” “I’m going to focus on me and mine” “Relationships are too complicated”

Observation

Why do we reinvent ourselves when a relationship begins? We buy new drawz, shave {for men beards, for women … never mind} fix our hair, hide relatives sometimes kids Chris Rock quote: “We send our representative” Men lie about resources, women lie about what they want. Science proves it. Class.

Why do we reinvent ourselves when a relationship ends? We eat better, start exercising, buying new things “in with the new, out with the old” right? Eat right. Feel good. Look great. New friend. Complacency. Repeat. The end.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Do those things while you are in a relationship, encourage each other, support each other. Why won’t you be great together? Hold each other accountable … just a thought.

Mr. “it’s very late & I’ve been at work since 10 a.m. so ignore this weird post” TramueL

Friends.

Friends

*Clears throat for speech*

I don’t know where to begin so I’m going to share how my “be you (tiful)” mind bought this post into existence. It’s a few weeks old and has been sitting in my drafts folder quivering like a frightened child with the fear of being scolded by a parent. {Where is D to the Y? Where is Dez? Where is DJ?} ☚Insiders

I’m on Tweedeck with columns for Twitter, Facebook, Google Buzz, LinkedIn & FourSquare all in view. The word “friend” was lighting up and jumping off the screen towards me from each. Some praised their friends while others contemplated if someone was ever really their friend. So I stopped and I asked myself, I said: “Self? How do you define a friend?” Myself said: “I’ont know kid, I’ont wanna study war no’ mo’.”  I mumbled: “T!his guy.” … I think the force was strong with the Blog circle that week ‘cause it spawned a few post on or pertaining to friends.

C.S. Lewis categorizes a four letter word beginning with L and ending with E into four basic human loves: Affection, Eros, Charity & Friendship, of the four friendship is probably the least valued and most underrated. The reason is that many of us have not experienced a substantial, enduring friendship. I have over six-hundred “friends” on Facebook & three-hundred “Followers” on Twitter. These relationships involve nothing but a tweet and a status update, just a passing connection … another reason friendship is devalued. We say associates and acquaintances from work are friends, from these relationships a friendship may grow but it doesn’t have the trust, loyalty, commitment or intimacy of true friendship. The other night while speaking with a conversance they shared feeling alone, identifying the fact that from within their phone’s contact list there wasn't anyone they could call at 10:00 p.m. on a Saturday night. I’m sure they have “friends” but they weren’t clocked in at that particular moment. Aside from my sisters, a cousin, my parents and the women I’ve dated, I’ve never had a true friendship. I’ll minimize that by saying I’m not holding a casting call for any friends because I’m an introvert. Connecting with others is a process, the flow involves questions, inferences and conversation. The problem that I have is that most friendships start from the value of it’s usefulness, achieving some material end or as folk to kill time with. My standard of folk and my actual expectation keeps my from reaching out. I understand that this is a problem and I’m working through (My therapist says only four more sessions at an extended rate & I should be ready to hold a casting call.)

So after talking & hugging it out with Mr.TramueL our definition of friend would be someone who supports my emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual development. Someone who doesn’t want me to stay as I am, they want me to grow, they want nothing less than my wholeness & my holiness.

There is so much more that I could say but I won’t, I’ll allow you to speak on what you see as true friendship?

Magic Always,

Mr. "One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else" TramueL