There’s something that happens when I walk into the gym. Not just physically but emotionally, energetically. No music yet, no reps. Just a stillness. Like I’ve entered a space that demands both effort and honesty. It’s not about punishment, not about ego. It’s about presence.
And when I’m present ( ( F U L L Y ) ) I remember that this, too, is sacred…
Read MoreWe hear a lot of questions in passing… “How are you?” “What’s up?” “Everything good?”
They roll off the tongue like greetings, not always meant to be answered. Just part of the rhythm of daily conversation, like holding the door or nodding to someone in the hallway.
But “How was your day?”…
Read MoreSometimes, all it takes is two words.
“You good?”
No frills. No punctuation gymnastics. Just a quick tap on the shoulder of someone’s life, asking if their world is still spinning okay. And more often than not, the reply is just as simple:
“Yeah, I’m good.”
Or maybe, “Not really, but I will be.”
Read MoreThere’s a kind of peace that comes from not having to explain yourself. Not because you’re avoiding anything. Not because you’ve shut down or closed off. But because the people around you already get it. You’ve built a rhythm with them intentionally or over time where your boundaries don’t need a presentation, and your choices don’t need a backstory…
Read MoreSmall talk as emotional shorthand.
When we say “Nice out today,” are we actually saying “I’m here, and I need connection”?
But I’m about to get in the shower—is such a small sentence. We say it quickly, almost out of habit especially in texts. Let me get in the shower real quick and I’ll call you after. But have you ever thought about what we’re actually saying when we say it? It’s not just about hygiene. It’s not about the water pressure or the lavender-scented soap. It’s a subtle way of saying:
Read MoreA random observation about nothing and yet, everything—grocery shopping when you’re finally buying for pleasure instead of survival.
What changes when you’re not scraping by?
It hits me in produce, this small but steady feeling that I’m no longer in survival mode. No more calculating how long I can stretch a box of oatmeal or if I can afford the fruit this week…
Read MoreThere’s a quiet choreography that happens when someone gets in your car, especially when it’s someone you care about, or someone you’re still learning.
No words need to be exchanged, and yet, something subtle unfolds. They hop into the passenger seat, and I hand over control of the music, literally. My phone stays put, and theirs gets linked via Bluetooth…
Read MoreIt’s just something we say, right?
We say it after dinners with friends, after long phone calls that stretch into the night, after first dates that leave us somewhere between hopeful and hesitant.
“Let me know you got home safe”
Read MoreIt’s not quite inside, not quite out. It’s a place where shoes come off, but not always. Where conversations trail off, not because they’re over, but because they’ve landed somewhere soft…
Read MoreOne of my favorite hikes is the seven-mile loop around Salem Lake in Winston-Salem. The trail offers good elevation, but it’s more of a moderate walk; gravel paths, inclines, and beautiful views. Whether I’m on the treadmill at my home gym, running on the outdoor track at the Y, or hiking at Freedom Park, I prefer to work out fasted and only drink water after my session. The same holds true for my hike around Salem Lake. I don’t weigh myself down with a water bottle or a “fanny pack” filled with keys, phones, and other things. I simply power through, focusing on the task, until I reach the finish line…
Read MoreOne of the things I appreciate about working at the Y is connecting with people. Now, the two of you reading my blog know me, and you’re probably side-eyeing that statement because you know I do not like people. But every now and then, I come across some genuinely cool folks…
Read MoreSome things you just know. The crispness in the air before a storm, the way the sky turns that particular shade of heavy blue. The scent of rain before it arrives, petrichor rising from the earth like an offering. The sound of tires slicing through puddles, a promise of temporary chaos. The way cold water shocks the skin before settling into something familiar.
And then, there’s knowing when someone genuinely likes you.
Read MoreI unmuted Kendrick, Lamar, Drake, NFL, and Super Bowl and now I see why I muted them in the first place.
Many of you are deep in confirmation bias,
the tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms your pre-existing beliefs while dismissing evidence that challenges them
This has become particularly evident in the ongoing discourse around certain artists.
THE EVOLUTION OF A DISCOURSE
& I've found myself increasingly troubled by the intensity of criticism directed at Drake, particularly in the context of this recent "rap battle" with Kendrick Lamar. What started as typical rivalry evolved into something far more complex; a referendum on cultural authenticity, racial identity, and the unspoken rules of belonging.
Read MoreLately, I’ve been thinking about how wildly different my life looks compared to five years ago. And not just in the “time flies” kind of way but in the “words have power, and apparently, they’ve been working overtime” kind of way…
Read MoreOn Reflections of Cultural Criticism and Authenticity
I could write about why I muted Kendrick Lamar, Drake, the NFL, and the Super Bowl and what it means to unmute them. Many people are deep in confirmation bias;
The tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms your pre-existing beliefs while dismissing evidence that challenges them.
Read MoreIf the third-grade teacher in the Honda Accord is the foundation, then the professor is the evolution. Someone who takes what is simple and gives it depth, who refines knowledge into wisdom. She is the kind of person who doesn’t just read the world but interprets it, who knows that the right question is often more valuable than the right answer…
Read MoreDuring a session not too long ago, my therapist, after listening to me stumble through an attempt to articulate what I value in a partner, stopped me mid-sentence.
“You need a third-grade teacher who drives a Honda Accord,” she said, dead ass…
Read MoreMy son, not-so-little Brian, is a sophomore in school and has shared concerns about the current state of affairs in these un-United States. He worries about how current policies will affect his ability to find meaningful work. I initially minimized his concerns by advising him to keep his head down and finish school. He will always have a place "at home," and he won't have the burden of student loan debt because The Tramuel (formerly known as) and I have covered his tuition. But his concerns are still valid, and it's important to listen and empathize…
Read MoreSeven miles around Salem Lake. No earphones, just foot strikes and…
The path ahead twists and turns, revealing the distant main entrance as I weave my way around the lake. Bare trees stand like sentinels, their fallen leaves creating a mosaic on the ground. The water is neither still nor restless; just moving, like me…
Read MoreLife has a way of delivering its insights through the most random moments... a quick glance, a passing comment, or even the way someone approaches you at work. Lately, I've been reflecting on a few of these types of observations, and I can't help but notice how they overlap with larger themes about connection, perception, and grace…
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