The Week of Depth

A reprise to “Four Letter Words Beginning With L”

Of Loss

A wife lost her husband, children lost their father & a grandfather, a church lost a member, co-workers lost a friend and a community lost a steward. Mastering fear & anxiety, I’ve learned how to respond to death by being open, honest and sincere. Don’t suppress affection, tell others how you feel constantly and show them often.

Rest in peace Frank, you will be missed.

Of Life

Filtering out negative and pessimistic emotions lead you to positive thinking; more options and possibilities exist.

Of Lust

I went dancing, we had a great time but we will not become permanent partners. I think it was something we both needed.

“Sex is fire, Celibacy is water … both can purify”

My truth? Afterwards the void was still there, there is nothing like dancing with someone you absolutely adore, cherish and four letter word beginning with L and ending in E.

Of Love

I’m open.

Mr. “Be Responsible But Don’t Forget To Dream” TramueL

Deception About Being Deceptive

Bad_smile-128

We deceive and then we deceive about the fact that we deceive.

True life storie(s)

SPARE CHANGE

It would be unbelievable for someone, anyone to tell me that they’ve never heard  “The Approach” … “Hey, do you have any spare change?” usually followed up with a long story about how or why they are requesting a hand out.

Just show me the baby, I don’t need the labor pains

Labor Pains

I work in uptown Charlotte, live in East Charlotte and  I’ve been exposed to every part of this city through one medium or another; bars & night clubs, restaurants, hotels, shopping, volunteering, entertainment & events. “No matter how hard you try you can’t stop us now” should be the motto ‘cause it doesn’t matter where you live or where you’re from, it’s truly where you’re at … no one is prone from “The approach”

::True story::

Over the course of a few days, time spent conversating conversing with “she” after work I happened to be in different parts of the city where “she” witnessed first hand the approach …

Uptown leaving work while talking to “she”

Dude - “Say brother, I’m starving, can you help me out so I can get something to eat?”

Mr.TramueL – “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash.”

Dude – “What about that water?”

Mr.TramueL – Blank Stare. Blink. Blink. “You want my water? You’re welcome to have it, but I’ve opened it.”

Dude – Takes water.

Rivergate {South Charlotte} talking to “she” in line at a drive thru. Keep in mind it’s around 12:30 a.m., windows down, dude approaching. Mr.TramueL is a lover not a fighter, but I’m also a fighter so don’t get any ideas.

Dude – “Yo, I’m trying to catch a bus do you have any extra change?”

Mr.TramueL – Grabs change out of ashtray.

“She” – “Is the city full of homeless people?! Lol! You’re like a bum magnet.”

Mr.TramueL -  “This is all I have, you’re welcome to have it.”

Dude – Counts change. “You don’t have another {Insert whateva’ amount he was short} ?” “It cost {Insert whateva’ amount it cost for CATS}”

Mr.TramueL – Blank Stare. Blink. Blink.

::Side Note::

It’s amazing how much a part of my spirit “she” is. There is not one day that passes without a thought or a reminder of her. That’s all I’ll say about that. The End.

The Baby

I often joke about how I should respond to folk on the street requesting a handout … “Man, I was bout to ask you for a few dollars … I’m trying to pay my child support.” In the five plus years I’ve told that story, not once have I ever done it. I usually without thought reach into my pocket and whatever spare change I have, I give graciously to the requestor. Well, that is until yesterday when I thought let’s have a little fun, dude was hype & I wanted to match his intensity. Judge me.

Dude – “Hey! Which one of these stores you going into?

Mr.TramueL – “What’s up dude! ‘bout to grab a sandwich from Subway.”

Dude – “I’m out here on these streets, been out here for ‘bout five years man, I was in the {insert long ass story about love, job loss, glory years & pain}

Mr.TramueL – About ten minutes later “Dude? show me the baby, I’ont need the labor pains.”

Dude – “Huh?”

Mr.TramueL – Blank Stare. Blink. Blink.

Dude – “Whatever you got to help a brotha’ out would be appreciated.”

Mr.TramueL – While reaching into my pocket to grab the two singles I have … “Man, I was just about to ask you the same!, It’s the end of the month & folk want child support, rent is due & gas prices are ridiculous.” “One hand in the air if you’ont really care”

Dude – Blank Stare. Smirk. Frown.

This exchange was over heard by someone going into Subway & when I get inside another exchange ensues. I’m going to sum it up for you though …  It was thought that I was encouraging dude by giving him the money. It was thought that he would drink his food. Followed by a bunch of scriptures & their interpretation of said scriptures.

:: Blank Stare. Blink. Blink ::

“My old nature vs Experiencing God” = “Arrogant vs Thankful of ALL of His Gifts in Me”

The moral of the story folks …

Live truth instead of professing it, GOD sends no one away except those who are full of themselves.

Harm None,

Mr. ”Spare Change” TramueL

Truth & Honesty Imbued With Poetry

“Dirty water pooled beside the faded blooms of summer. I wet my toes. I knew better but I wet my feet. I knew better but I wet my legs. I knelt and wet my thighs. Dirty water warmed my skin against the cooling wind. I touched my cheeks. I knew better but I touched my lips. I knew better but I touched my eyelids. I touched my ears. Dirty water dried to muddy stains among the silk and cotton. I sat and prayed for rain.”

-September

I believe the author and I are on some Virgo-Libra Cusp type tip, because we always seem to be in tune with our thoughts.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

I know what inspired this writing and we discussed that off line, but I was compelled to post it because it shared a common theme with a few of my latest post; self-nurturing, truth and honesty.

When its difficult for us to feel harmonious & peaceful, it’s usually a battle in our head. A battle between two negative brothers or sisters … aggression and passivity {My money is on them being sisters} These two generally play bad cop, good cop. Aggression comes in the form of a reprimand, imputing blame or guilt and harassment. We allow her unwarranted & irrational thinking because her sister passivity is a smooth talker and plays the role of good cop, she brings self-doubt, separation from self and the belief that we will not completely evolve.

Most of us figure it out, realizing it's really bad acting and we discover our true self, which is the realization of our goodness and our value. That self awareness is what allows us to live in harmony & to be at peace with our decisions and all of life.

Live Well,

Mr. "God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have" TramueL

The Gift & The Opportunity

“Every Christian should gift this book to another Christian”

Red+Blue=Purple

He offers hope that has been tested.

“This world temps us to give up. Sometimes you want to give up. No matter how deep your faith, life can throw some hard pitches at you that you aren’t prepared for. And life gives you no sneak peeks at what’s to come; it offers no “coming attractions” to prepare you for those unexpected pitches.

People can be cruel, and things change quickly. Everything you count on today can be gone tomorrow. Often you live feeling either pissed off or pissed on. So we need hope. Not hope in just anything, but hope in something tried, proven, and true. Religions come a dime a dozen. Some people worship lettuce – until they get hungry. Some people worship money, until it loses value. Others worship themselves. And we all know where that leaves us – full of ourselves and full of it. So when you face a mountain of despair, and the pressure of life saps every bit of your strength, you don’t need a god who’s hot with Madonna this month; you don’t need the god whom the rapper thanks win he wins an award for his explicit material. You need the God who isn’t impressed by the material girl, the God who has proven himself worthy. The God with a record.

You see, hope left to itself is just an emotion. And that emotion will connect to anything that pretends to be worthy of it. If a figure named Santa Claus presents himself as one worthy of hope, then people – especially children – will put their hope in him. But since Santa isn’t real, hope invested in him is hope wasted. So I don’t just need someone to place my hope in, I need someone worthy of that hope. Someone for whom the evidence has come in, evidence I can sink my teeth into.”

- Kirk Franklin “The Blueprint” … A Plan for Living Above Life’s Storms

My previous post “15 Minute Freestyle” for all intensive purposes was a way for me to satisfy my commitment to posting at least once a week. Without any preconceived notions I set out to write whatever came to mind, something easy and fast. In retrospect I understand where each thought was born and truthfully I wasn’t expecting much of a response. I did however receive five one off emails, text, & dm’s from friends who didn’t want to comment on the Blog. Whether directly or indirectly related to any one of my thoughts the common theme was about hope.

The reason I four letter word beginning with L and ending in E The Blueprint is because it’s real. Mr. Kirk Franklin talks from experience and presents his{tory} in away that’s not stuffy, preachy or degreedUP. “♬ ♫ ♪ far from hood but still understand the streets ♬ ♫ ♪”

That excerpt is power{Full} because it reinforces what we already know; We have resorted to using strength according to the wor(l)d rather than according to the word, putting too much hope in man. What it taught | teaches me is that we should counsel from God’s word because it is the truth.

Truth = Honesty. One of my thoughts from the freestyle concerned awareness about self-honesty. I hope everyone received what they needed from me {through Him}, I would like them to know that what I received from them {through Him} was even more valuable.

Deep Bows,

Mr.TramueL

Resist vs. Don’t Resist

Resist: "You got to Love God enough to resist what isn’t of God. Resist means to say something about it. To say No. To stand without compromising yourself, without compromising your integrity. To Love God enough means to be God’s friend, to be like a child. To go to battle as a warrior! Heart battle. Out of love, never out of pride."

Don’t Resist: "To wait and see. To never answer an unwise person, to never try to bring correction on a hurt, tormented, or angry fellow, peer, stranger, co-worker. It means to stay and do your best, even to give your other cheek…ouch! All with the expectation of letting the matter where it is, no where your pride want to go. Guts to be humble and recognize that we all are humans, the Supernatural is God in us…if we let Him."

Always inspiring ...

This post was taken from Peeling the orange's Blog on Wordpress ... one of my new favorites!

Photo Credit: "God-Ego" by Fred Eerdekens

You Want Me To Be Honest?

“ You Can’t handle the Truth! “

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipPJwvSzInI]

The other night one of my many twiends re-tweeted a tweet from one of their tweeps. {Say that real fast while hanging from a spinning chandelier} … anyway it stated that 1ne  of the most important ways to make a four letter word beginning with L and ending in E {Love} work is learning how to communicate the complete truth ...

I have a mom, two sisters, three baby mamas, an ex-wife, a side chick, a “she” and a plethora of female friends who sit on my couch so I feel it’s okay for me to impart my impractical wisdumb on this topic.

“There are no whole truths: all truths are half-truths. It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil.” - Alfred North Whitehead

Science

There is no science. The problem starts with definitions. In order to maintain our self-image as unselfish and honest, we seem to have special definitions that help disguise the true state of affairs … of course, we are all honest. We just leave out a few facts, but we never lie! We would feel very uncomfortable with a definition of truth that disallows this type of behavior.

Folk will retort that the truth is often near impossible to define. And, that the whole truth can never be said. Indeed.

Situation

Any. But let’s take something as simple or as complex, depending on your perspective, as telling your significant other that you actually had 30 sexual partners before them. If your partner told you such a truth after first having told the untruth, how would you react? If your partner told you such a truth, without ever having told the untruth, how would you react? Would you insist that your partner answer such a question to you? Would you want to hear the truth or would you rather not know? Would you want him/her to lie to you?How would you estimate the chance that she/he will find out the lie? How BIG a lie do you think this is if you did it? if a partner did it?

Summary

Communicate the complete truth? Nah kid … Men & Women use dishonesty to enhance those features that are most desired by the opposite sex. Men, for example, lie about commitment, honesty and resources.

What do people really mean by honesty in a partner? That we tell the truth about our flabby bellies? Or that we tell the truth about our desire for our boo’s friend?

Can you be completely honest with each other? Something doesn’t make sense.