A Feeling/ Thought Split

A Feeling/ Thought Split

Last week I mentioned that there were times where I feel extreme loneliness and being unable to effectively communicate what it feels like in words and y’all came to check on me. 

I’m good.

It was 65 percent observational and 34.99 percent personal, I’m so good at math. Observed through random conversations about nothing and yet everything. It’s important to define loneliness as a subjective indicator offeeling alone; an inconsistency between an actual level of connection and a desired level of connection where the desired level varies between different people.

“We can be lonely but not alone, and we can be alone but not lonely”

Science. 

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Random Observation #2,920

Random Observation #2,920

Yesterday I made an appointment with my primary care physician for a physical, I’m “I only need a physical every two years” old. I have been seeing my Dr. for a very long time and believe he genuinely cares about the well-being of his patients. That being written I am reminded of a conversation we had years ago and it is (was) the catalyst for a shift in the way I live.

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The Shape of Things

The Shape of Things

Life taught me to see the best in people, and it’s driven me mental when people saw the worst in me. Would rather life said, show them the best in themselves because they forget that as well. Self-improvement is a two-way street. There’s a math to moving forward but the geometry (the mathematics of lines, shapes, and angles) always gets us down.

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God Is The Greatest!

God Is The Greatest!

But Satan Been On His Shit

Blessed

Two Thousand and Eighteen for my family; immediate and extended has been incredible. We’ve had some lows but mostly been high. For me personally there is no greater example of God being the greatest and Satan trying to tear everything down than the last few weeks of the year. 

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October Observation #13 & #14

October Observation #13 & #14

Literal Integration

My observations are born from conversations with people I interact with at work, at home, at the coffee shop, on a run, in transit —Life. Most of them could be fleshed out into whole ass essays but ain't nobody got time for that.

Keep up.

Michelle and I visited with our great couple friends and soon to be neighbors in Harrisburg. The two observations below materialized from breaking bread, and drinking drank with them.

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October Observation #12

October Observation #12

Serendipitous Occurrences

This shall be known as the summer of thunderstorms. This morning on my drive to work I watched a young man offer a young woman his umbrella in passing, I don’t know what words were exchanged but it must have been fly, as I glanced back through the rearview mirror; both moved in the direction originally traveled by the young woman, both smiling uncontrollably, both moving through the rain with enthusiasm and a positive outlook.

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October Observation #11

October Observation #11

Five Things I Learned From Being a Kid

Be More Childlike and Less Childish

Young children are often impulsive, pouty, and with frequent outbursts of anger. If you don't have kids, listen to me know and believe me later. Behaviorally, they are prone to lying, blame others to avoid responsibility, are predisposed to bullying, and often need to be the center of attention.

Adults are playful, creative, unselfish, and teachable.

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October Observation #10

October Observation #10

People Who Don't Hear Me

In social settings, I Am generally reserved and feel most comfortable one on one or one on two. Most of us like the energy in the room; loud music, laughter, or sports broadcasted across large screens -- These are all nice but in order for me to enjoy myself, I have to charge up my energy to participate. I do enjoy the connection with people I'm speaking to, but the energy in the room takes a lot out of me and I need at least two-three days to recover.

Lol, I'm just serious.

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October Observation #8

October Observation #8

Music

Although I Am a consumer of music, I Am also creating. Creating memories on my morning run, while working out, on my walk to/and on the bus, or while I'm working. While we are watching movies, watching our favorite shows or breaking bread — the music we hear has the power to fuel us continually at levels more than just words.

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October Observation #6

October Observation #6

To Me Language

I take stock in what is off putting for me when conversing with others. Having that awareness keeps me honest about what and how I communicate. Excluding family, close friends, and living souls I Am comfortable around, those people whom I consider family but ain’t blood  — because we are who we are around them.

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