The Beauty of Life Changes

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The Beauty of Life Changes

As sudden and tragic as death always is, the daily functions of life must go on.

… And sometimes we feel guilty for laughing and having a good time, but I hope you know she would want you to enjoy your life and wouldn’t want to be the source of your sadness

- Nikks

I Am grateful for the loved ones in my life. My family and friends— inclusive of those on digital lists, they have all been a great source of comfort. The beauty is the lesson grief teaches us, we cannot rely on ourselves we need others.

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The Pain of Life Changes

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The Pain of Life Changes

My mother passed on Monday, September 05, 2022.

I don’t write for circumstances, but solace from them.

Grief came to me, my family, and her friends like a vicious knife; sudden, terrifying, painful, and penetrating— Creating wounds that will take a very long time to heal. Grief is an intense emotion, all encompassing of the different pain and sorrow we feel after a heavy personal loss. Degrees of emotion vary from person to person and almost always runs the same course…

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Alphalary for a Healthy Lifestyle - Laughter Learning Limits Living Love Longevity

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Alphalary for a Healthy Lifestyle - Laughter Learning Limits Living Love Longevity

I went to see Don ‘D.C.’ Curry Saturday with NOVA. Sitting next to her, a woman a year older than me who looks better than a twenty-five year old — this isn’t subjective, she takes care of herself physically, mentally, and spiritually. In contrast I watched a man ten years older walk out on stage, semi-assisted, to a stool to sit in while he performed his set.

I Am reminded of the impermanence of life.

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Pleasure and Failure Feed Each Other Daily

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Pleasure and Failure Feed Each Other Daily

Adopt a new perspective.

Right now it's easy to feel a sense of oneness with everyone around you. It's the result of an internal recalibration, rather than an external one. It doesn't have to be defined right now.

The title is pulled directly from my Co-Star Astrology daily update. We all have choices, and one of the largest benefits of astrology is the ability to understand ourselves better beyond for entertainment purposes only.

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Happy

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Happy

Someone asked me the other day if I were happy. In context I understand why. In a social media world of happiness theater, competition on happiness and not real happiness, but who could display it best online. I believe they genuinely wanted to know. especially seeing the changes in my life in real time over the past two years.

“Saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy”

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We Fly Like That

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We Fly Like That

“Falling in love” implies a descension, also a bit of risk, too. When we fall it is generally associated with something negative happening to us. I tripped and fell inside of a woman I just met and now she is carrying my baby. Bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good. In the curious case of falling in love however, we tend to glamorize and adore the fall.

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Journal Entry Pain

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Journal Entry Pain

I have been trying to write this for a week and a half with no real understanding of what I’m trying to say – There have been four deaths announced to me during that time; co-workers, family of close friends, and classmates.

Mastering fear & anxiety, I’ve learned how to respond to news of death by being open, honest and sincere.

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Well-Nigh Unassailable

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Well-Nigh Unassailable

Relationships coming to an end has been a BIG theme in my circles this week, and by relationships I’m referring to an emotional connection between living souls - not exclusive to a four letter word beginning with L and ending in E. I had a friendship end as recently as a month ago. I didn’t argue, I didn’t ponder, I moved on as I’m sure they have.

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Dear Virgo,

/ Hells Kitchen/
Dear Virgo,

One common Virgo trait is the tendency to be introspective, additionally for me with Moon in Gemini, Moon square Mercury specifically (Science) … there is always a conflict between my head and my heart. My emotions telling me one thing and my mind telling me something else. The result is a see-saw effect: Emotional to the point of irrationality at one moment, and logical the next.

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Transformation

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Transformation

With deep changes in two of my relationship categories; marriage and family (parent-child) I’ve been in my feelings about what it takes to have loving relationships. We can learn a lot from self-observation and while I did not find the keys to success, I do understand relationships can be ‘third entities.” Entities that can lead an existence independent of the will or desire of its partners or one that can prove far stronger than either individual.

Perhaps the prolific Dominican and African-American poet John David Jackson said it best…

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Peace II

/ Freedom Park /
Peace II

Journal Entry – April 11, 2021

I’m learning (& practicing) not becoming upset when some- thing/one irritates me. It is not easy to find peace when you are irritated or angered. One glaring example for me is becoming agitated while driving— happens to all of us I’m sure, a part of the human experience. I offset this by allowing myself plenty of time to get wherever I’m going, this has created a habit in me to always be on time. Unfortunately it created another opportunity for me; becoming irritated when others are late.

Lol, I’m just serious.

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Two Sides to Every Story and the Truth

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Two Sides to Every Story and the Truth

When you taste a slice of pizza, you “know” it at a direct sensory level. You talk about how much you enjoy the taste of it and the way it feels in your mouf’, you try to describe it to someone else, even write a love song about it, but you will never be able to effectively communicate the quintessence of the sensory in words. Another person who has tasted The P can share your sense of enthusiasm, but he or she will never know YOUR experience of it. Others can describe their experience of The P, but YOU’LL never know as they knew it.

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Change II

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Change II

I turned 50 on September 21st, to make it memorable I took a solo excursion to Philadelphia. There are advantages to traveling alone, for me it solidifies what I believe about myself; I enjoy myself when no one else is around, I Am self-reliant, and adaptable. Additionally, the opportunity for self reflection is valuable. Without a travel partner, I can create and store my own sense of meaning from each trip. Self-reflection can be painful at times, but also fulfilling. Time alone while traveling presents an opportunity and a gift to take a careful look at yourself, your life, and your experiences.

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