What Happens When Someone Stops “Following” You In Real Life?

“I think back of the few people that were allowed to interface with Brian ( his choice ) … ”

That’s my mother on Mr.TramueL … Did my mama use my government name? It seems even as an adolescent I was guarded with who I allowed into my personal space. I have a very small circle of folk whom I consider friends, although somewhat undemonstrative I am generally loyal and responsible to those I care about.

What happens when they stop e-mailing, texting, calling or  simply stop communicating? If you’re using Twitter, Facebook or any other social-media site when you lose a follower it’s no problem ‘cause they can always be replaced. In real life there are no macros, widgets or tools that email you when someone stops following you, what was said or perhaps done at that particular point in time. If something in my character past or present causes you to stop “following” me I offer you this; judgments can be as unjust as the actions or personal view they condemn.

Don’t worry kids Mr.TramueL is still committed to disarming his armor. I’ll continue to look to the sky and deepen my relationships with my current “followers.” I feel sorry for  lil’ Mr.TramueL  though he is now my official & permanent hang-out partner.

Drops Mic. Pours out a little liquor on stage (for those we lost along the way.) Walks off. Lights match. Throws lit match on poured out liquor. Stage goes up in flames.

Magic Always,

A Note About Connections

Note(s)

Note(s)

Not So Random Observation About Everything #1

Saturday  provided an opportunity for me to shift Seeking His Information For Transformation … I lost my wallet with checks, cash & cards inside. I’m pretty adept at staying positive when negativity approaches but fail over analyzing the situation searching for a lesson. The energy I emitted must have automatically or instinctively drawn others to me. Read My energy was not spent on the loss or of feeling sorry but looking for a lesson; God is trying to tell me something? … the items can be replaced and the act of losing them would prove to be irrelevant days later. I told two people that day, two that I trust. What they provided were words of encouragement, and space for me to pull up my strength.

Concerning connections and energy … I received an instant message from my sister in faith and a text message from The TramueL Formerly Known As two days later. I had not spoken with either about losing my wallet.

Of The TramueL Formerly Known As

… Our relationship is absolutely unique, just like everyone else. Her concern is usually shown by commenting on my shortcomings so to receive the following message was proof positive of a positive connection.

Good morning, jus woke up with u on mind. Everything ok?”

Of My Sister In Faith

… I can’t explain how important this person is to me, she keeps me grounded in faith and she counsels from the word of God.  Her greeting made my heart smile.

"There are just some people you love and distance never separates you and because you are on my heart it only means that you are on God's heart."

C.S. Lewis often referred to this human connection as “kindred soul” people seeking the same truth or more specific, care about the same truth. We should all have someone with an S on their chest. Your friends should not want you to stay as you are but encourage you to seek growth, be all you can be.

~ Brian

CLT to EWR

Initially I sat down to chronicle the sights and sounds of my recent excursion to En Why Cee, however as I started to write the random thoughts, observations and inspiration; direct and indirect that developed from the experience took over …

Read More

He Said, She Said ... A Humble Spirit

"Strategic success is dealing with the real enemy of your purpose the soul (mind, will, intellect and emotions). Just as the strings of an instrument respond to the touch of human fingers so does your body respond to the impressions of your soul. Yes, it really does matter what you feed your soul. A humble spirit wants to change but you will only see results when one desires to change."

- A Facebook Status Update Via T. Brown

He Said, She Said ... A Thought About Aging

The Man In the Mirror
The Man In the Mirror

"Ever feel like your whole life is a dream? Like when you wake up you are just entering another dream? The face in the mirror is changing daily and it's finally hit me that I'm older."

~ September

Nurturing {Self}

The Week of Influences

Currently Reading

The Blueprint "A Plan for Living Above Life's Storms" - Kirk Franklin

On Sociology and the Black Community - W.E.B. Du Bois

Raising Fences "A Black Man's Love Story" - Michael Datcher

A thought was born from my reading, emails, phone conversations, random observations about nothing , yet everything and then ... great friend(s) ask great question(s).

"Ever wish you could (re)wind time and do something a little different?"

We've all been asked the question, initially your right brain kicks in with something about not being caught with Kim under the stairs with your penis in her hand or reliving dreams of being the President of the World. The whole World Craig. I've had time to reflect and I would like to answer now " September" « That's my new name for you.

I wouldn't change any specific event, everything I've experienced has turned me into the person I am. I would change the way I p(re)acted and (re)acted to those events.

Honest about what I really want

I would not have distorted the truth about what I really want. I would have weighted more heavily the cost and benefit of said honesty.

Self-sacrifice

I would have been more aware of sacrificing my personal interest, things that I love for the supposed benefit of others.

Resentment is born from deprivation

Depriving myself of those personal interest, I subconsciously blamed others for my non-happiness, developing feelings of resentment towards anyone who participated in my non-happiness. I would change not making others responsible for my happiness.

Neglecting others. Be cognizant of it

I have someone that I am completely honest with about everything. Everything. I have no doubt that they would do anything in the world for me. The world. Yep, they said something the other day that resonated with me and caused a shift in the TramueLverse. Minus the curse words, the thrown knife, the scratch on the hood of my car & the death threat they said "I'm sick of you talking to me like this ..." This wasn't a love interest or someone with whom I wanted to lay horizontal with. You really don't need any more detail for me to make my point, which is ... I would change the way I've treated those who have loved me unconditionally. Science.

Harm none,

Mr. "Science is true, don't be misled by facts" TramueL

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Friends.

Friends
Friends

*Clears throat for speech*

I don’t know where to begin so I’m going to share how my “be you (tiful)” mind bought this post into existence. It’s a few weeks old and has been sitting in my drafts folder quivering like a frightened child with the fear of being scolded by a parent. {Where is D to the Y? Where is Dez? Where is DJ?} ☚Insiders

I’m on Tweedeck with columns for Twitter, Facebook, Google Buzz, LinkedIn & FourSquare all in view. The word “friend” was lighting up and jumping off the screen towards me from each. Some praised their friends while others contemplated if someone was ever really their friend. So I stopped and I asked myself, I said: “Self? How do you define a friend?” Myself said: “I’ont know kid, I’ont wanna study war no’ mo’.”  I mumbled: “T!his guy.” … I think the force was strong with the Blog circle that week ‘cause it spawned a few post on or pertaining to friends.

C.S. Lewis categorizes a four letter word beginning with L and ending with E into four basic human loves: Affection, Eros, Charity & Friendship, of the four friendship is probably the least valued and most underrated. The reason is that many of us have not experienced a substantial, enduring friendship. I have over six-hundred “friends” on Facebook & three-hundred “Followers” on Twitter. These relationships involve nothing but a tweet and a status update, just a passing connection … another reason friendship is devalued. We say associates and acquaintances from work are friends, from these relationships a friendship may grow but it doesn’t have the trust, loyalty, commitment or intimacy of true friendship. The other night while speaking with a conversance they shared feeling alone, identifying the fact that from within their phone’s contact list there wasn't anyone they could call at 10:00 p.m. on a Saturday night. I’m sure they have “friends” but they weren’t clocked in at that particular moment. Aside from my sisters, a cousin, my parents and the women I’ve dated, I’ve never had a true friendship. I’ll minimize that by saying I’m not holding a casting call for any friends because I’m an introvert. Connecting with others is a process, the flow involves questions, inferences and conversation. The problem that I have is that most friendships start from the value of it’s usefulness, achieving some material end or as folk to kill time with. My standard of folk and my actual expectation keeps my from reaching out. I understand that this is a problem and I’m working through (My therapist says only four more sessions at an extended rate & I should be ready to hold a casting call.)

So after talking & hugging it out with Mr.TramueL our definition of friend would be someone who supports my emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual development. Someone who doesn’t want me to stay as I am, they want me to grow, they want nothing less than my wholeness & my holiness.

There is so much more that I could say but I won’t, I’ll allow you to speak on what you see as true friendship?

Magic Always,

Mr. "One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else" TramueL

Tuesday's Email Bag

Men-vs-women-fighting

As a friend put it, it also proves one other thing about men….

There’s been strong debate over the years as to which sex has the better friends. Women claim to be closer and men claim to stick together. After many polls, surveys, and statistics the speculation is over. One particular case sums it up…

Women’s Friends
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The husband called his wife’s ten best friends. None of them had seen her or knew what he was talking about.

Men's Friends
A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

 

Push Me, Pull You

Push Me, Pull You
Push Me, Pull You

Beware of running away from problems.

After a textersation {I just coined this phrase … conversation through texting} with a good friend I’ve realized that I believe I know what other people want, but don’t really know what I need.  My unspoken admiration for the folk that keep me grounded, sane & motivated is the reason for this post. They are a part of my life; some new, some old, some share my blood, some don’t, all-in-all  they all are a part of my family, immediate and extended.

I shine when I serve others in some way and  what I get back in return is far more beneficial to me than any 1ne of them can imagine. They bring me closer to capital {G}od’izzle, by desiring a closer relationship with HIM. They make me want to know more, thus inspiring me to read more & research more. They have taught me to be more honest. {Ya’ll know T!his is a struggle cause I enjoy story-telling and sometimes enjoy bending the truth} They inspire me to be a better father, brother, son & man. Last but not least, they’ve taught me to straighten out confusion or nothing will get done. I have some huge  stones chasing me that I’ve now begun to face and stop running from.

I take in so much from my environment; T!his is one of the reasons why I tend to be indecisive, swinging between irrational and rational thoughts and feelings. It's pretty much something that takes place "upstairs" in my mind, although others are sure to see the struggle from time to time.  I also have a tendency to misrepresent myself with what I say from time to time, but Mr.TramueL is a charming, if a little kooky, friend, father, brother, son & man.

Continue to Push Me & I’ll continue to Pull You.

In Gratitude,

Needing To Be Needed

My determination to always be at my best is typically magnified in most of my relationships granting me little rest. However when that phone call, e-mail or text message comes with those famous words "Hey, What you doing. Guess What?"

… I get all emotional (I'mma keep it short. I don't want another another feminine moment. I can't stand the smell of that night blooming jasmine.)

They picked me! They could have chosen anyone but they chose me! It feels good when I am able to impart my impractical wisdumb upon the earth.


Do as I say not as I do
Be aware of your effect on others.

Do not exhaust yourself in pursuit of the latest trend.

Seek traditional values.

*Remember a house can not be united with it's brothers, sisters, mamas, daddies, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, boos, baby daddies, baby mamas, friend girls and friend guys divided. Now get out there and Unite!

Delicate Duality

As of late I've tended to fluctuate widely in mood *pause* (this post already sounds like a feminine moment) ... being easygoing one moment and full of what can be described as kind of moral indignation. Both are limiting since one of them represents too little judgement and the other too much. They also constitute a duality that imposes worry. I think I'm gonna have a period now for sure  

*Chanting* "realize that the truth is in the middle, seek it there"  "realize that the truth is in the middle, seek it there" "realize that the truth is in the middle, seek it there"

Sometimes I may compensate for imagined but expected difficulties while overlooking more concrete problem areas. {Mr.TramueL's Corollary: An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.} This may produce a conservative, even fearful attitude, which "deads" initiative and keeps any relationship from success, becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That's right in case you missed it I'm talking about relationships but not just romantic relationships, this has affected all of my relationships (Family, Friends, Co-Workers & She)

Do as I say, not as I do:

Try to accept the whole package

Self-fulfilling prophecies can ensure *deadness*

Complaining waste energy

Now I'm off to take a shower to get the floral, night blooming jasmine, peach cranberry body spray smell off of me

 

"In the Tub"